There are a few mentions of self harm, but it's not too bad.
This was a request so I hope you like it!
I've forgotten what happiness feels like. I've just felt so numb for so long I don't know how to feel anymore. Everything around me seems not as bright as it used to be. Everyone around me seemed happier than they used to be, and somehow, that hurt me more. The thought of everyone else moving on with their happy life, leaving me behind, made me mad. When I tried to tell someone how I was feeling, they brushed it off. That made me feel even more alone. Is it always going to be like this? Am I always going to feel so numb? When will I start feeling happy again? All these questions whizzed around in my mind on the way to E-Class. It's not really a surprise my grades dropped, not that they were ever good to begin with. I've always been teetering on the edge of passing and failing. I decided to wear my winter uniform instead of my summer to hide my scars. I don't want anyone else in my business. When I reach the door of the class, a spike of anxiety hits me. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm ugly? What if they reject me like my previous classmates? I feel like I'm going to pass out. I learn against the wall next to me and breath. In... and out. In.... and out. My heartbeat drops and I start to feel better. I still feel scared, but not on the verge of passing out. I slowly open the door, hoping no one will notice me. The door squeaks and everyone's eyes turn to me. My whole face pales and I start to feel sick again. Abort mission. Abort mission. Abort miss-
"Ahh (Y/N)! How nice of you to join us!" Well, there's no going back now. I awkwardly laugh and slip into the room. I kept my eyes on the floor, I don't want to look at their disappointed faces. "(Y/N) would you like to introduce yourself?" I shook my head no and clenched my hands. Koro-sensei already knew about my anxiety so he was trying to be considerate by putting me in the back. I was quite relieved seeing no one was sitting there. The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly. A few kids walked up to me, but soon left after they realized I wasn't really the talking type.
I arrived the next day to see someone sitting in the spot next to mine. You gotta be kidding... I walk up to my seat and sit down without saying anything to the boy. He looks at me, seeming a bit confused. "What's up with the uniform? It's hot as hell outside." That's what he asks first? "U-um well I just prefer this one.." I could tell he still didn't understand, but he said nothing else. Maybe it's not going to be too bad with him sitting next to me.
Well that was a lie. He walked up to me during lunch. "Hi new girl~ I forgot to ask your name earlier." And her I thought he would of left me alone.. "My name is (Y/N)..." He stared at me for a few seconds without saying anything. Is my name weird or something? Why isn't he saying anything? "That's cool. The names Karma." Karma..? That's a bit odd.. "Hey (Y/N) can I show you something?" Show me something? I'm not sure if I could but... "Sure." As I walk out of the door to follow Karma, I feel water pour over me. Why..? Karma sat there laughing at me. "Now you have to wear your summer uniform!" I was on the brink of tears. Here I thought I could finally make a friend. I don't know what I was thinking, why would someone like me? "Is this all you wanted to show me?" I was completely void of emotions at this point. He seemed a bit guilty, but said nothing. I went to the nurses room to change my clothes, luckily no one was in there. I always bring a spare uniform, because at my old school classmates always felt like ruining my clothes. After I finished changing, I decided to put bandages around arms so no one could see the cuts. Karma approached me after lunch. "Hey.. sorry I went a bit too far..."
"It's fine.. this isn't the worst thing that someone's done to my uniform. Once someone burned my shirt and skirt during gym." He had nothing to say about that.
"Can we go somewhere private? I promise I'm not going to do anything this time." I was a bit hesitant, but agreed anyway. He took me outside behind the building.
"I'm going to be honest.. when we first talked I thought you were super fun to tease, and I liked that about you. But I guess I took it a bit too far.." He seemed to genuinely regret what he did. "It's fine, just don't ever do something like that again."
"Believe me I won't."
I walked off feeling happier than I was before.
Maybe he can help me feel again.
Man that was sorta long. Sorry Karma and the reader didn't get into a relationship. I just didn't see it happening. Still hoped you liked it anyway!
