Being Bi

Broken

I suppose my story started with my parents but I'll come back to that part later.

When my story really started for me was the year I turned 13. It was in August and I was at home with my parents eating dinner and my little brother was picking his nose when my father slammed his hands on the table.

I hung my head in shame as my mother explained to him that having a bipolar disorder is not the end of the world.
To which he replied, "What use is she going to be to any man if she's broken?"
He jumped from the dinner table and grabbed a beer from the fridge and stormed outside.

I'll never forget it because that was the last time that he ever looked at me. I must have cried for days.

As if matters weren't already bad, this is also the year that I started my period. I know, I'm a late bloomer.

My hormones were everywhere, I cried about everything and even started wetting the bed.

I don't know if anyone ever knew but I'm sure I didn't hide it well.

I had only one friend named Penny.
She was a year older and lived about a mile down from us.

She had a little sister named Billie that was always with her. She was a little over a year younger than I was, and was the tomboy of our community.

Always climbing trees, capturing animals and hardly ever wore shoes. Honestly, she should have been a boy.

They were a little more well off than my family and lived in a huge house on a hill that I could almost see from mine.

I would stay there sometimes and we'd pretend what life would be like as adults.
Play house and I'd always be the Dad and have to go to work. I'd drink beer and be angry when I came home.

I remember Penny having a weird relationship with her Dad, so she never wanted to be the man of the house.

It was our senior year of high school before I found out that her Dad had been raping her since she was very small. Which is why he's been in prison for most of my adult life.

As time went on she grew to hate men and I didn't care for them much either.

With the medication I was on and the exclusion from my Dad's life even though we were in the same home. My little brother being a pig and sneaking peaks at me naked didn't help much.

I caught him playing with himself at the door of the bathroom while I was in the shower once. He made me swear not to tell if he did my chores all summer.

As I got older I realized he was just being a boy and every once in a while I'd let him catch a peak up my shorts from across the room.

I don't think the little perv ever saw anything but it was enough for him.
This went on until I left home after high school.