Endure My Heart

"Heartbreak Heartache"

A poem or short story by Daniel Bailey (aka) the Danman258

              "Heartbreak, Heartache"

     Time passes, as my anger dims like the fallen sun turns to dust, my heart begs to see out to venture, yet my mind won't unlock the locks or uncover the veils that shows others sincerity. My mind seeks safety, my heart aches.

    I had landed a job doing something I loved, baking pastries and bread in a small shop not far from my home. It gave me a way to hide, for I left for work at 3:30 in the morning and was home by 1:00 pm only seeing a few people, all day.

     Daily I would make coffee for my thermos and my daughter when she woke. A lot of times my daughter and I would wait for evening to sooth our hunger, so through the day we ate lightly. I would rest before my daughter got home from school and then we would talk while she did homework or we go to the library.

     After dinner we’d do a two mile walk, sometimes with her friends, but a lot of times it was just the two of us and our talk. I’d go home to my music studio to work on projects with others or by myself, while my daughter went to friends or stayed home on the phone talking to her friends. These arrangements worked good for me; it kept me from meeting new people and people who were trying to break my heart.

     Oh, but life has its way, at work I was going home and my boss asked me to leave from the front of the building. It’s been almost a year now and I’ve never went home from the front of the building and an odd feeling hit me. The front was still busy with their lunch rush and as I tried to pass one of the attendants spoke to get my attention quietly and quick she asked, “I know you’re on your way home, but can you tie my apron and open the door for me?” I seen no harm, so I placed my baker’s tools down and started tying and a customer asked the attendant, “Who’s the new guy you’re hiding back there?”

     I quickly stopped and picked my bag up looked down and walked swiftly to my car, and I could hear the fuss going on behind me. The conversation I had with myself on my way home was to say the least, insane. Even though I knew I was going crazy I tried to keep myself sane for fear of my child. I didn’t want people to tell my daughter I was crazy and I didn’t want her to see me as crazy. But I knew something was wrong.

     A heart needs love and I had enclosed my heart completely and I wanted no one to know or hear my heart scream. The next day they had finished working on the back door and my nerves were gone and normal felt good. And after finishing a good day’s work I smiled and said good afternoon and left out the back door. As I approached my car there was another car parked too close to me causing me to go to the other door.

     And as I squeezed to not touch the other car to get into mine, I tussled and flipped my way to get behind the steering wheel. And as I got myself together to see clearly how to get out of my parking dilemma, a horn honked spooking me, and quickly startled to the left.

     It was the lady from the day before, setting in her car looking at me while she was eating something. At that point I was not upset I was just concerned that I might hit her car. I rolled down my window and while I looked at the distance between the cars, I asked, “Can you move your car so I can get out?” She signed that she could not hear me and I signed for her to roll down her window.

    Her radio wasn’t loud but it was playing a Sting song called “free” and her rhythm movement was quite appealing. I waved my hand again and said out loud for her to move her car trying not to show frustration as she smiled with her rhythm. I started my car and tried to adjust my view and as I put my car in gear she rolled down her window and said, “Can you say that with your eyes?”