The unsent letters of convicted double murderer Harry Styles, explaining why he ended up buried in a world of broken dreams. What happened to innocent till proven guilty?
( cover design: @crescend )
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
day 10➜ a letter to someone I don't talk to as much as I used to
Dear Jaime,
When you started to talk to me less, I should've just kept speaking to you, even if you wouldn't listen. I should've. Because I don't know how you got involved in so much scary bullshit at such a young age and maybe you wouldn't have if I was there.
When was it? Year 10? Or was it Year 9? When word on the street was, you were a dealer.
I knew you'd seen Christine from when we'd spend our after school time in the park across from St Andrew's, only I thought you didn't care. You were done with me, so I never would have guessed you'd go after her. If it was as a potential customer or a love interest for yourself, I'll never know why you two started talking, or if your intentions with her weren't to spite me, but did it have to be her?
I knew you were interested in Christine by the middle of Year 12 because by then the sixth form common room was buzzing with gossip and rumours. That you, Jaime De La Rosa, liked a girl. Everyone was talking about it, everyone was making bets on when you'd get together.
However, me being the loving fool I was, didn't believe Christine would fall for you. Little did I know you were her weed hook up. I didn't even know she smoked cigarettes, let alone weed. I guess you'd say, "That shows what you know, Haz."
You really pissed me off Jaime. Even with all the shit that went down with us, right up to the rehearsal dinner you still called me, Haz. You really knew how to push my buttons, didn't you, Jaime?
I never thought you'd be interested in my friend(s) because you didn't need me anymore and I didn't need you. By Year 12, the feeling of resentment was mutual between us.
You don't know how many times I wished you'd come to your senses and decided you missed your sometime brother/sometime friend, but that wasn't the case.
I wish you hadn't gone down that path, I wish I could've seen you go down it and maybe I could've been the one to pull you back from the abyss. That life you chose, Jaime, it was never going to end well. One day it would catch up with you, as a teen or an old man somewhere, the universe has a funny way of playing tricks with us humans (like it did with my life) but everyone gets their comeuppance. It was only a matter of time, Jaime, but you decided to have the last laugh, eh, and go out with a bang.
I should have listened to the rumours of the time (or at least checked them and how accurate they were), I shouldn't have been stupid and dismissed them thinking you were never capable of doing such a thing or thinking Christine would never do such a thing. I guess I never knew her as much as I thought I did.
