The unsent letters of convicted double murderer Harry Styles, explaining why he ended up buried in a world of broken dreams. What happened to innocent till proven guilty?
( cover design: @crescend )
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day 16 ➜ to someone outside the country
Dear Traveller(s),
You don't know me, not really. You don't know just how many times I wanted to just pack up and run away. Oh, how I wanted to do that so badly when I was young. I even came close to becoming a runaway at eleven, it lasted maybe, what, sixteen hours?
Right now, as I'm trying to remember all the people I know who are travelling right now, the only person I can think of is Camila. She was in the States when she RSVP'ed she couldn't make my wedding due to her trying to be taken seriously in her course. At first I was disappointed, obviously but then I was happy because she was out there doing something with her life. Something new.
The closest I came to travelling was always confined to the UK.
I remember the stormy days at Cornwall. The winds blowing in my hair and obscuring my vision but I want to say thank you, Traveller.
Because I was never able to go where I wanted to go, and honestly given where I am, most likely never will, but...
You, Traveller, get to go, be free and pull through. You get to see the world I'll never see, you'll see and gasp at landscapes and your heart might even stop. I want that. I always have and I always said to myself, "someday".
I was naíve and stupid as fuck, I should never have passed up opportunities because before you know it life changes and you don't see everything slipping through your fingers and utterly out of your line of vision.
You'll feel numb.
And you'll curse, "fuck", I'm too young, too young to be this numb.
So numb you can't even see the lightbulb's light peaking through your eyelids when you close them.
It's like your blind.
Then you'll wish for feeling to replace the void, the blankness, the ache...
Something...
Anything...
And it'll be that unspeakable thing you feel instead, that one emotion you'd never greet with open arms... not even a fool would. Then the pain shooting into your heart forces you to grasp at your chest with a grip so tight it hurts, but you don't care because it hurts less than that emotion... and then your upper body hunches over... your head falls and the tears jump out... and when that emotion only intensifies you cry harder as your knees give way and you fall... but it doesn't hurt...
Because...
It hurts more.
I wish could've seen something magnificent... even if it was just once... because that would've been enough to take the pain away, that my aching soul saw something shiny and dazzling just once.
I wish I got to know all the world's young pretty faces while its body still shined with grace.
But, you still can, Traveller. Go and meet the world, go and have your breath taken away with a charismatic and magnetic hybrid concoction of colours and waves and winds and swishes....
Go and love him,
Go and love the world, people like me cannot.
All the love, Harry.
// author's note //
sorry for late update, school started up again for me and it's super hard to keep up, lol life stress.
