dawn to twilight. ( FILLIE )

two: my sweet glowing light,

chapter two | blue ink
2:17am

it was almost silly how fast i was letting this whole thing get to me.
i'd wake up from nightmares, completely shaking all over, but when i tried to remember what happened in them, i couldn't. all i knew was that they were petrifying and i was too embarrassed to tell anyone.

but now, i sat on plush, retro pink carpet, staring at a certain title on my bookshelf.
child of the northern spring, a book that sophia lillis had gifted me during a time in which she could only hear my silent screams for help. but let's not get into that.

i'll go into depth about sophia lillis instead. after romeo demanded that we go home, finn and him fought, leaving them both with busted lips and bruised eyes. we all piled into gaten's old, beaten up 1975 chevrolet van, leaving romeo behind.
gaten had put in a cassette tape and we all attempted to keep to ourselves.
but i however could not. i knew who it the dead girl was. it was sophia lillis.

i had burst into sobs, tears flooding down my face in a way that none of my friends have ever seen me cry before. but now that i think about it, i don't believe they've ever seen me cry but once.

everyone immediately looked at me, sadie had placed a hand on my shoulder.
"sophia lillis. it was sophia lillis." i had cried out, suddenly regretting that i had admitted that i knew who it was when gaten veered off the side of the road and into the parking lot of an abandoned corner store.

we all sat there, asking questions.
no one really knew sophia like i did.
they knew she was the girl with the kempt cerulean colored hair that would keep a secret for anyone. she was the girl who would break out her art supplies during lunch and sketch who ever she found to be intriguing in the cafeteria that day.

she wasn't like many, she wasn't like most, but everyone liked her. everyone used her for her kindness, including myself.

sadie had began to beg us to call the police but finn and i had both told her no.
i suppose romeo had told finn something very intimidating, it wasn't like finn to go along with something romeo said.
"we have to keep this a secret? alright? don't tell a single soul." i had said, looking at everyone very sternly.

now it was two days later and on my way home from school earlier i had seen sophia's mom, hanging up a missing person photo.
it was almost like you couldn't go anywhere without seeing sophia's chilling face in greyscale.
those damn missing person fliers were pinned up on every motherloving post in the town of waverly, maine and the neighboring towns.

it was okay though. it had to be.

suddenly i jumped in my skin as i heard something hit my window, tearing my mind away from its train of thought.
i looked over at my window which was hidden behind silk lavender with wide eyes.
i grabbed onto my bookshelf, gaining my balance and i stood up.

i slowly made my way across my bedroom, careful not to make any noise and give proof to my parents that i was awake way later than i supposed to be.
last time i did that all of my paints and brushes were basically pried out of my unwilling hands.

the silk curtains shifted to the side as i drawed a string, revealing my window blinds which i quickly peeked through the see a dark haired figure looking up at my window.
i smiled to myself, opening the window so i could speak to them.
"the back door is unlocked finn. don't make any noise while coming up the stairs." i told him, closing and locking my window afterwards.

i awkwardly waited to hear the faint creak of the staircase that luckily you can only notice from my bedroom.
i opened my door and ushered finn in quietly.
"talk quietly," i insisted, taking his jacket from him and hanging it over the back of my desk chair.

finn coming over during the foggy hours of the night wasn't unusual, at all.
in fact, it was a normal thing, probably one of the most steady thing in my life at the moment that's positive.
sometimes i think it's good to have something that you know will happen, or someone you know you'll see.
but i wonder often why he comes over so much, though i'm far too shy to ask him.

"so how are you doing?" finn asked, sitting down on my bed.
i sat back down in front of my bookshelf, sighing.
"i have no clue to be completely honest," i responded, gently taking child of the northern spring from it's cozy space on my shelf.
i like to think of my bookshelf as a home for all of my beloved books,
ask anyone and they'll tell you reading is a very special part of my life.

"want to talk about it? maybe?" finn asked another question, looking at me as i opened the book.
i shook my head quickly as that's the last thing i'd want to do.
finn nodded, accepting my slightly rude rejection of his offer of friend therapy.
he reached into his pocket to grab his phone after a message notification buzzed from inside the fabric.
the sound of him vigorously typing filled up the room.

i kept to myself, wanting to ask him who messaged him but maybe it was something personal and i wouldn't want to seem nosy,
so i looked back down at the book instead of staring at him as his phone screen illuminated his face with a blueish white.

my fingers traced the edges of the title page in which sophia had written a note on when she first gifted it to me.
i squinted down at it and furrowed my eyebrows.

"hey finn," i mumbled, sitting up onto my knees.
he held up a finger as he finished typing his reply to whoever had messaged him in the first place.
i sat patiently, waiting until i heard the sound that would alert the both of us that the text sent.

once it sounded, finn directed his attention toward me.
"yes mills?" he questioned, sliding his phone back into his pocket and putting his hands to rest in his lap.
i lifted the book up so he could read.
sophia's note, but he ended up snatching it out of my hands.
"oh um," i murmured in response to his quick action which left me startled.

his dark eyes scanned over the handwritten words that were in sparkling blue ink.
"i don't understand." he stated, looking up at my sorrowful expression.
he began to read the note a second time, aloud.
"dear millie, once you reach the middle in something, take this book for example, you'll realize that if you keep going through it, you'll eventually reach the ending and you will have the calm feeling of placing it down. just please, with what you're going through right now, don't pick the book back up, you don't deserve it. - best wishes, s lillis." finn spoke out slowly.

he sighed and started flipping through the rest of the novel without my approval.
"stop," i interrupted his actions, taking the book away from him.
he glanced down sheepishly at getting barely scolded by me.
i stood up and shoved the book into my bookbag, zipping it shut.

i didn't at all want finn to know what i was going through a few months ago, or even get an idea.
he never paid attention to the bruises, or the cuts, so why should he know?
sometimes people don't want to hear about your problems, and certain things are better left unsaid.

[—]

this is a whole lotta shitty writing!!
my mind hasn't been in the whole good writing skills type of setting recently.
also i just deleted and redownload this app and my font and sizing is all fucked up and i cannot seem to remember what i had it set to.
+
this seems really short but it's 1,340 words so.
also, this is sort of a filler chapter for what's yet to come (yes i realize that this is merely the second chapter)