five minutes last an hour

liberty

一 I dedicate this chapter to my late aunt, who died a few days ago from breast cancer. She was cremated today. A little over two years ago, she told me about this dream she had, and although I don't remember it in full detail, I wanted to write my own rendition of it in her memory.

Her name was Liberty.

♡♡♡

Everything is absent of color. Even the night sky and its twinkling stars are mere dull blacks and greys and whites.

That is, except for the bright yellow umbrella I hold in my hands.

Considering that the dark sky is clear, I'm not sure why I have it out and open in the first place. But with an odd newfound sense of attachment, I clutch it tightly. After all, it is the only thing for miles that appears to have color in my monochromatic vision.

All alone, I wonder if there is anyone else around. I call out, only to again be answered by murmurs from the shadows.

I walk on a narrow road in the center of an alleyway, rows of buildings on either side of me. On my left, unlit lights line the Abbey Stone brick walls of what seem to be an apartment, brand new and well-kept. Its windows are thoroughly polished, and even the sidewalk is clean. The decrepit stores on my right seem to be closed for the night, their steel roller shutters down and vandalized with spray-painted graffiti. The (possibly) once vibrant colors of the neon signs fastened onto dirt-stained walls have faded, and old cockled posters and flyers are stuck atop one another on the dark walls.

Although these two rows of buildings radiate opposing auras, the overall unsettling darkness of my surroundings makes me feel as though I'm roaming a long-abandoned ghost town. If it weren't for the faint illumination from the moon and stars above, it might as well be pitch black.

Afraid and desperate for companionship, I call out once more.

No one.

Other than the shadows that continue to whisper to me in soothing voices. 

I suppose I could only rely on the darkness of the night to stay constantly with me, almost guiding me, as ominous as the thought may seem.

A harsh wind begins to blow out of nowhere, nearly sending me flying away. I dig my heels into crevices of the rocky path below me, trying to anchor myself to the ground. 

I continue to trudge forward, voices all around rupturing in a panic, when the wind snatches my umbrella out of my hands and into the harsh night. I feel that a piece of me has been taken away.

Suddenly, one by one bright lights shine through the windows from the ceiling lamps inside the apartment rooms on my left, almost invitingly. I feel that I'm being called to come in. Reaching both arms out to steady myself, I slowly make my way to the sidewalk. As my hand nears the wall, the shadows' wails turn into whimpers, growing quieter and quieter.

The wind stops, as if time itself has come to a halt.

I finally find myself standing at an entrance, a grand and elegant gate so tall I have to crane my neck up all the way. Looking past its railings, I see a large crowd of smiling people cheering, some with joyous tears in their eyes.

Have they been waiting for me?

It seems too good to be true, to no longer be so lonesome after wandering on my own for what felt like so long.

All I have to do is walk inside.

I turn around, to take one last look at the bleak other-side across the road.

But beyond that road, I notice that they've all gone: the rundown shops with their defaced paint-chipped walls, the cracked neon signs that flickered unsteadily, the rubble on the ground from the cracked sidewalk...

Except for darkness. 

Darkness is all that remains.

It's all I could see, and it grips onto me.

Howling,

Sorrowfully.

I have known it for so long. It has kept me company thus far when no one else was there for me.

But I have to let it go now, and I'm glad that it understands. 

Weeping in a thousand different voices, it lets me go.

I face the crowd that awaits my decision, and I then step into the pearly gates that open up just for me.

I can finally see everything in color.