Never In A Million Years

Day 21

Nobody looks at me. There's no reason I truly would like for someone to look at me, it just seems strange. I see the boys practically drooling over some of these girls. They get looked at, and I'm jealous, because I dress like them and I laugh at nothing, just like them. I borrow notes from the boys and I make sure to touch their hand when I'm reaching out to take the paper, just like the girls. I toss my hair over my shoulders and I smile lightly, but nobody sees.

Nobody has looked at me at all since I came to this school, trying so hard to fit in. I should've started at the beginning of the year. There was no reason for me to have gone to all of those nutrition programs. My problems weren't going to get fixed within 2 months. Nobody believed me when I said it wouldn't help. I wasted 60 days of my life hearing the same bull shit over and over, then was forced into a brand new school with brand new people and brand new personalities to avoid.

Maybe nobody looks at me because they know I'm not who I'm pretending to be. They know who I really am, and they're disgusted. I mean, I'm disgusted, too. I'm disgusted at the way I look and the way I fake a smile and the way I cry every night and the way I just can't seem to grasp the simple fact that 3 healthy meals a day will keep me fit. They just don't want to talk to me. They know I'm a freak.