I Still...

Chapter 5

Dara pushed him as her right hand flew, palms flat, striking Jiyong's cheek, the sound resonating inside the quiet kitchen. Anger reared up inside her making her want to claw him. How dare he! How dare he touch her! Her chest looks like it's close to bursting as she tried to keep her anger at bay but failing.

Jiyong's head was turned to the side from the force of her slap, his cheek red with the outline of Dara's hand faintly imprinted on its skin. "I deserve it," Jiyong quietly said turning to her, not even rubbing the pain away.

"Yeah, you do," Dara said with gritted teeth. "And so much more."

"I'm sorry," Jiyong apologized. The sincerity was ringing on each word but Dara doesn't want to accept it. Whatever he's apologizing for, she doesn't want to accept it.

"Sorry doesn't cut it," she said her voice shaking with the anger she's trying to contain.

"No, it doesn't," Jiyong said looking at her.

"Then you can keep your apology."

"I've missed you...." His voice came out in a bare whisper as his eyes strayed down but Dara heard it all all the same.

Dara cannot believe this. "You have no right to tell me that." She's getting angrier by the minute.

"I don't," Jiyong said looking up at her again. "But I'm still saying it anyway."

Now her whole body is shaking. Oh, how she hated him! "You're 10 years too late."

"But I'm still here."

"I don't give a fuck! There's no amount of time that can make me forget what you did to me." She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes now but she blinked them away as she focused on her anger. She won't cry in front of him. She had spent countless nights wasting her tears for him.

"I'm not asking you to,"Jiyong said. "I don't have any excuse. I don't want to to give you an excuse. You deserve a reason." Jiyong slighty shook his head. "And I can't give you that."

Dara stared at Jiyong's eyes. It held all the sadness, the misery, the longing that she had felt 10 years ago when she left for the US hoping that he would still reach her. For any reasons. For any lies. For anything.

But he didn't.

And all she had was the memory of the love that he had promised. And one she had blindingly believed in.

Dara tightened her sweater as she stepped out of her dorms and feel the cool night breeze whipping her face. It was only 7 in the evening and she was supposed to study for their midterm exams but she couldn't concentrate. She had been waiting to hear back from Jiyong since early this morning. It had already been a week since his mother was rushed to the hospital and he had been nothing but a zombie everytime she saw him. One of his professors, though very sympathetic on what he's going through, is now getting worried of Jiyong's grades slipping and losing his scholarship in the end.

She's only giving him one day. One last day. And then she's going to call her dad to help with Mrs. Kwon's surgery. Jiyong might hate her for that but he had to see why she had to do it. She was about to call her dad to discuss it when she received a message from Jiyong asking to meet and she had all but rushed out, worried sick for both him and his mom.

She strode to the courtyard near the water fountain where they agreed to meet and found Jiyong standing near it with both his hands tucked inside his jeans and she jogged over to him. He still looked tired, haggard, and he's not even wearing a coat on this cold night. He smiled when he saw her coming..