Cute Is What We Aim For (narry)

forty-seven: an empty chair

forty-seven: an empty chair

I was numb by the time I made it back to Liam's place, practically dragging my feet as I fight back tears. Liam is sitting on the couch, almost in the exact spot he'd been in when I had left nearly three days ago. He didn't look like he'd moved much,let alone changed out of his baggy sweatpants and college sweatshirt. He seemed to have the right idea though, a bottle of whiskey sitting next to him. I didn't even bother asking him if I could have the drink, grabbing the bottle before falling down on the couch next to him. 

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" I ask, noticing the time. I must've sat in Niall's driveway, waiting for him to come back outside, longer than I originally thought I had. What had only felt like minutes turned out to be hours, but it was clear he wasn't going to come back. 

"Took the day off. Why are you home?" Liam asks, earning a long sigh from me as I take a sip of Liam's whiskey. 

"Broke up with Niall." I whisper after a minute, keeping my gaze on Liam's t.v. that I had gotten him for Christmas as a joke. He'd been using a lot more lately, along with the Netflix subscription. 

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, looking over at me instead of at whatever this shit show was that we were watching.

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" I ask instead of answering him. 

"Not in the slightest." Liam says, earning a nod from me as I take another sip of his whiskey. 

"Then I guess you have your answer." I say, letting out another sigh as I sit further back in the couch. Neither of us move for a while, too wrapped up in our own thoughts that we didn't even notice that Netflix was wondering if we were still watching. 

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It takes three days for it to hit me that Niall and I broke up. Three days filled with a drunk haze and what I think was Grey's Anatomy but I honestly blacked out for most of it. It was my first day back to work at the bar, Liam actually dragging his ass back too despite how depressed he'd been these past few days.

I was about to do my set, sitting on the wooden stool and getting my guitar set up. I looked at the spot Niall usually sat in, only to find it empty.

That was when it hit for the first time since it happened, the numb feeling coming back like a landslide. I could barely play, let alone sing. I kept stumbling over my words, my hands shaking as I struck the wrong chords and all I could focus on was the fact that his chair was empty.

I end the set early, practically sprinting out of the bar yo get some fresh air as I feel myself crumbling. I barely make it before the tears start to fall out of my eyes and I wipe them away in frustration because it wasn't supposed to be like this.

It wasn't supposed to hurt like this.

But it did. I felt hollow, like I was missing a vital part of myself. I was missing him. I could feel everything starting to hit me at once. All the anger, all the hurt, all the self hatred blowing up to the surface in a matter of seconds, turning me into a sobbing mess in the alley just behind the bar. I sink down to the ground, pulling my knees up to my chest as I curl in on myself.

This was my own doing. Everything was my fault and I couldn't change it.

It was my fault she cheated.

It was my fault he left.

It was my fault that I was alone.

I take in shaky breaths, trying to calm myself down but it wasn't working. For a whole year, I had kept it in. I had smiled and acted like everything was fine, like I hadn't been shattered into a million different pieces, like I was even capable of letting someone in. I had convinced everyone that I was okay, including myself.

But I wasn't, I wasn't okay without him. As much as I hated to admit it, Niall made me forget. He made me feel like I was whole, like I wasn't damaged.

He made me feel loved and that was something I hadn't felt in a long time... and I threw it all away over a dumbass lie.

"You doing alright, mate?" Someone asks, startling me as I hadn't heard anyone come outside. I look up from my spot on the ground, blinking a little as it was difficult to see. I was surprised to say the least when I recognize that it's Zayn.

"What do you care?" I found myself asking, wiping at my nose before averting my gaze from him. Zayn lets out a sigh before joining me against the wall.

"He told me." He says and I let out a scoff.

"I'm sure he did. I guess this is when you say I told you so or some dumbass shit like that. If that's the case though, I would rather you just fuck off." I grumbled, still refusing to look at him. 

"I wasn't going to say anything except state the fact that you're both being stupid. I might not like you, Harry... But you made him happy and I really prefer happy Niall over the one I'm dealing with right now. It's not my place and I'm not going to sit here and beg you to go win him back... Just... I just think what you guys have is worth fighting for, is all." Zayn whispers and I find myself looking at him now because that was probably the nicest Zayn has ever been towards me.

"Don't look at me like that, I still hate you. I just don't hate the fact you make my best friend happy." Zayn grumbles before standing up. He reaches a hand out for me, but I don't take it. I wasn't ready to leave.

"He's the one who ended it. He won't want me back." I found myself saying, earning a shrug from Zayn.

"Maybe, but you never know unless you try."

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I need to stop updating so late. Jfc. But it's cause I don't get off work till midnight sometimes and I'm like "shit, bitch you need to update cause you're fucking with people's hearts on the narry breakup." So yeahhhhhhh.

Zayn is still shady as ever.... But man, Liam's going through some shit too. What even.

Anyways, whatever you do, don't listen to Won't Leave by the Tragic Thrills (or any song by them cause shit man... theyre bomb af) while reading these past few chapters cause fuck, I'm crying.

QOTC: umm, what do you guys think is going on with Liam? Do you guys think Harry's gonna be able to win Niall back?

Dedication goes to Ilovesleeping77

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Connie xx