❂ Left Handed Cigarette ❂ // Van McCann

12.

After a couple of hours spent laying in Vans bed, I decided it was time to head home and get some work done. Van insisted on giving me a ride home and I accepted as I really didn't have other options, I didn't exactly fancy calling up Sacha as I would be bombarded with questions about last night.

His car was run down, probably bought second hand. It was big though and I soon made the connection and realized this was the van he had been saving up for.

I rummaged through his car looking for a cd to put on and ease the mood.
Van had looked thoughtful since we had breakfast but I just decided to leave it. He would bring it up when he wanted to, there was no point in pushing it.

I finally found a small shoebox filled with CDs at the backseat.
I clumsily contorted my body so I could grab it which caused my dress to rise and expose my arse.
I quickly turned around with it, blushing slightly. Van was looking straight at the road but his smirk made it clear that he had witnessed my classy moment.

I flipped through the CDs and smiled to myself as my fingers landed on a familiar one, Elephant by the White stripes. It had been one of my favorites in high school but I hadn't listened to it in a while.

"Can you do the thing." I asked shyly, pushing the cd toward him, not knowing how his new car worked.

He looked confused before turning his head, smirking.

"Of course love, don't know if it's appropriate to do in the car but if you insist.." He trailed off, grinning at his own suggestive comment.

"Stop Van." I whined.

I was blushing again, what was wrong with me. Since last night I felt so timid around him, I couldn't stop thinking about how protective he had been of me and what he had said to the guy. She's mine.
I normally would have been against a boy being so possessive of me but with him I loved it. Maybe because this time I actually wanted to be his.
He quickly knocked me out of my thoughts,

"You keep blushing you know." He continued the teasing as he pressed a couple buttons and inserted the disk.

"I'm not, it's just allergies don't flatter yourself McCann." I said with a smile on my face.

I was so bad at lying.

"So your allergies just go off whenever I touch you or talk to you then?" He asked jokingly and turned to me.

I could have slapped that cocky look right off his face if I wasn't too busy trying my best not to blush at his gaze again.

"How dyou know?" I faked shock to get off the hook. And turned my face towards the road.

Van was smiling to himself, focusing on the road again. Fucking tease.
I flipped through the tracks and settled on "I want to be the boy who warms your mother's heart".

I sang along softly, tapping my fingers on my lap out of habit. I loved this song, it felt very old to me compared o the others on the album. Van hummed along approvingly.

As we got close to my apartment Van turned down the volume and faced me before turning off the engine completely.

"I need to ask you something." He spoke breaking our silence.

I felt the lump in my throat grow by the second but managed to answer nevertheless.

"Yeah ?" I spoke softly to ease my nerves.

"Are you serious about this-us I mean?"

He asked almost defensively, I could tell he was nervous about bringing it up and I understood that this was what had been on his mind.

"Because there's no point of me spending time on it if you don't feel the same."

He finished, his blue eyes never leaving my brown ones.

I was so taken aback. Had I been that cold with him that he thought I didn't feel for him?

"I didn't even realize you were unsure I was serious." I started.

"I know it sounds stupid but I can't stand not being around you, I'm starting to think I'm really falling for you." I said, my sentence fading out at the end.

I had done it. I don't think I had ever done that before to be quite honest. I felt so naked.

I saw his pupils dilating slightly, before he moved closer and grabbed my arms desperately, he looked so stressed.

"It's not stupid, I want you to tell me this stuff you know. I do." He said and continued,

"You're so shy about things like this, I never know what's going on in your head." He finished.

I could tell I needed to reassure him, I wasn't gonna play any mind games with him anymore.

"I want you, you know? I just don't want to feel shit if it doesn't work out."

I sighed, feeling a weight being lifted off of my chest.

"Let's make it work then."

He said confidently, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before resting his palm slightly on my cheek.

"Okay." I said smiling.

"Good." He huffed out and hurriedly placed his lips onto mine.