How To Love? (Yoonseok)

Left Alone

He woke up with sweat covering his pale frame. He frantically looked around only to meet eyes with darkness, pure nothingness. He reached over to his right, remembering that he threw his phone over there last night. He remembered Hoseok showing him the spare room they had, which was right across his room.

He felt the cold object in his hands and pressed the home button, he read the time and it displayed

3:24 am

Yoongi knew he was having another one of those bad days, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to leave the room, much less go to school and face the world. He wanted nothing more than to just curl up in a ball and have no one talk to him.

He felt his chest tighten and the air being stolen from him, his eyes widen like a lost child who just got their favorite toy taken from them.

His breath became unsteady, he held a tight grip on his shirt, right above where his heart is.

The hot, salty tears exploding from his eyes, an unwanted visitor that came with no warning.

He painfully rolled of the bed and attempted to stand up to head to the bathroom only to fail and fall on the hard wood.

He accepted defeat and laid there, praying for his attack to leave him just like how everyone left him, but he knew that unlike people, his thoughts and attacks always came back to pay him a visit, his unwanted 'friends' being too overly excited and attacking him in 'hugs'

Tonight was one of those 'friends' who chose to visit at the wrong time.

He laid there for what seemed like hours, however it was only around thirty minutes.

He felt a weight being lifted off his chest, his breath slowly coming back to normal and the waterfall of tears finally being blocked by a bolder and coming to an end.

He stared at the ceiling, overwhelmed, tired, exhausted, call it anything you want.

'I thought I was getting better...'

'They staid I was doing so well...'

'Why...'

And he stayed like that, lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice his eyes slowly closing, he was engulfed in darkness once again.

*Hobi's P.O.V *

I understand that we need education and stuff but I mean, c'mon, waking up at forbidden hours should just be a crime.

I finished my shower as quickly as I could and headed out. I peeked my head out my bedroom and heard nothing but the light rain outside.

'That's weird, I thought Yoongi would be up by now, I should check on him

but what if he's naked?'

I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts and walked to his door.

I knocked lightly on his door and called his name

No response

I knocked once again, this time a little louder

Nothing...

"I'm coming in!"

I walked into the room, I didn't see him on his bed, I was about to walk back outside until I saw a body on the floor.

Yoongi? Why is he on the floor?

He was laying on his side with his arms hugging his legs, he looked uncomfortable.

"Yoongi, wake up, you're going to be late for school"

I lightly shook him in attempt to wake him up, he shook my hand off and went back to the position he was in.

"Yoongi, seriously, get up"

I grabbed his arms and tried to sit him up, what surprised me was that he pushed me harshly making me fall butt first onto the floor.

"Stop fucking bothering me! I'm not going to school, get out!"

I looked at him, completely shocked.

I wasn't doing anything bad, I just don't want him to be late.

He was now sitting up, his back facing me.

"Look... We're both going to be late if you don't get ready"

I tried to reason with him but I think I just got him even more upset, I was scared to say the least. Yoongi wasn't like this yesterday, he was fine, he messed around with me every now and then, even at school he would tease me but wouldn't really mean any harm, what's going on with him today?

"Get away! Can't you see I don't want to go?! Stop being a fucking idiot and leave me alone!"

He stood in front of me, his eyes showing nothing but pure anger, I looked down, afraid to see him, I got a glimpse of the red marks on his arms, a bit of dry blood on them, showing that what he'd done was recent.

"Yoongi... What's going on?... I didn't know you... you did...that" I tried to sound as gentle as I could with my voice, knowing that he could break at any moment.

A close relative of mine used to self harm and I even thought about doing it myself every now and then but knew that it just wasn't the right thing to do.

"Go away, please." Yoongi sat down on the bed, his elbows on his thighs and his face in his hands, his voice came out quiet, unlike what it was like minutes before.

"No, not when you're not okay, I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but at least let me clean you up, I'll bring you food and you can lay in bed for the rest of the day, just... let someone be there for you... you need to lean on someone" I sat down on the bed next to him and placed my hand on his lower back.

I've never seen Yoongi look so...so broken, so fragile.

"You have school, Hoseok. Go, I'll be fine"

"I'm not going to school, I'm staying here with you, I'm taking care of you today"