To Be Loved // h.s

1

Ruby.

The second I got home I ignored my mums curious looks and Matilda's knowing eyes and ran straight to my room, shutting my door and throwing my bag down.

I kicked off my shoes and took my hair out from the tie. What a waste of time.

I sat at my dressing table, took out my earrings and began taking off my makeup.

I watched as my door opened and Matilda walked in, closing it behind her. 

"You're back early,"

"Well, things didn't go to plan."

Matilda sat on the end of my bed watching me take off my mascara.

"He didn't show?"

I bit my lip as I stopped mid-way. "Why doesn't he care about me?"

Matilda sighed.

I couldn't help the tears that fell. It was my own fault and I knew Matilda was thinking that too.

"You can't make anyone love you, they either do or they don't."

"He said he'd be there, we arranged a date, a time, he even suggested the restaurant-" I cut myself off as I felt the lump in my throat rise.

"He doesn't deserve your tears, he's not worth it."

I finish taking off my makeup, quickly moisturising my skin.

"I'm an idiot,"

"You're not."

"Look at me Tilly, I'm here hung up over some guy who clearly doesn't give a shit. I went and sat in a restaurant for an hour waiting and he ditched me. He didn't even call or message. Nothing. I deserve to be alone for thinking I could be with someone so unattainable."

"George will never change. This has been going on for nearly a year now, it needs to stop. You need to delete his number, his photos, everything. Erase him from your life. The guys been dating you how long..? And hasn't even called you his girlfriend. He's no good Ruby. Forget him."

"He's scared of commitment,"

Matilda rolled her eyes. "No, he's scared that once he's got a girlfriend he'll be seen as tied down."

"I just wanted it to work," I whisper.

"I know," Matilda stood up and put her arm around me. "But look at you," She points at us in the mirror. "Look how beautiful you are. You're gorgeous. You are one day going to mean the world to someone, but that someone isn't George."

I nod. "I know,"

She smiled at us. "We look like twins when we don't have makeup on."

"That's because we are twins Tilly," I roll my eyes.

"Yeah but I'm older by four minutes and we're non-identical."

I huff. "Whatever,"

"Chin up,"

I hear my phone begin to ring and I know who it is without looking.

"Lottie," I answer, placing her on loud speaker.

"How's it going? Have I caught you at a bad time?" I could hear the smirk in her voice, she thought I was still with him.

Matilda and I look at each other. "He er.. He didn't show up."

"Bastard!"

I sigh.

"Please Ruby, this is the last time. Please tell me that it is, please don't try any more he's really not worth it."

"I'm just going to ignore him and forget about him."

"What do you say to drinks tomorrow? On me?" Lottie offers.

"Thank you but I'm working eight until seven shift." Ruby pouts.

"Oh you boring bitch,"

Matilda and Ruby both laugh.

"Am I on loudspeaker? Hi Tilly,"

"Hi Lottie,"

"How are you and your perfect beau?"

Matilda looked like she was in a dream world and I wanted to physically vomit in her slippers. She had first met Aston at school when we were fourteen. He was the new kid, attractive and the centre of many girls' attention. They got together at fifteen and were together until a random break they had when they were eighteen for a year, Tilly called it a 'break to find themselves' but I just think he wanted to be free to shag around. When they were nineteen they got back together and here they are now; twenty three, madly in love and engaged.

Whereas I'm just a sad, lonely loser.

"I'm great, Aston's great. Studying a lot at the moment for the exams at the end of this month." Matilda rolled her eyes. "But I can live with that when he's the one saving lives." Aston is a trainee doctor, he's specialising in cardiology.

"I miss you both, but I miss Ruby more because she's lonely, like me."

Matilda and I laugh.

"Love you too," Matilda sings.

"I'm going to love and leave you both, but can we catch up soon please?"

"Yes," I promise. "We will, when I'm free. Okay?"

"Okay, love you. Love you Tilly,"

We both call our love you's before I end the call, sighing as I slump back on my bed.

"Tilly?" I say thoughtfully as I look at my ceiling, I could faintly see the outline of the stars I once tried to draw when I was nine.

"Yes.,?"

"Do you really think I'll meet the perfect man?"

She turns to look at me. "Course I do, why do you think you won't?"

I shrug. "I just can't see how I could really meet anyone who'll want to be with me,"

Matilda pouts and slumps back with me. "It's not something you predict, it just happens."

"But you're lucky, you and Aston always had each other,"

"That is lucky yes, but that's not how it is for everyone. When we had our break to find ourselves, I dated guys who were very wrong for me."

I roll my eyes. "But you still ended up with Aston,"

"That was fate, nothing else."

"Yeah well, fate doesn't seem to like me."

"You're twenty three Rubes, stop wishing your life away."

I take in a deep breath. "You're right. I'm going to just stop trying to force it, I'm going to wait for fate to work it's magic."

Matilda smiles kissing my cheek. "Atta girl."