To Be Loved // h.s

20

Ruby.

I sigh as I slump into the sofa in my dads office. Even though it was Sunday I knew he'd be here. Mum was out food shopping and his car was still on the drive.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?" Dad asks not looking up from his laptop.

"I need advice,"

Dad looked surprised. "Advice? You never come to me for advice,"

I laugh. "I know,"

I've always had my head screwed on, I've always been a little too head strong about certain things. I've always known what I wanted. Tilly however, she was always on at my dad about something or another.

"What's up?" He closes his laptop and turns to me. I appreciate the gesture.

"I'm in a.. situation with Harry."

"What kind? You're not pregnant are you?" He asks quietly.

"God no!" I exclaim. "Nothing like that." I sigh. "He's in New York, and whilst he was there he went for brunch with this blonde model."

"Right,"

"He didn't tell me about it and when I confronted him he apologised but insisted they're friends. I just.. don't really know what to do."

"Well, do you believe him?"

"I feel I have to, I want to. He's my boyfriend, i should. But then I feel like I'm being naive and foolish for completely believing everything."

"I understand,"

"Last night.. I went out, to a club. I feel like absolute.. whatever. And I don't really remember if I did anything stupid."

"You probably didn't," Dad laughed, "even though you were drunk you still had your wits about you. I bet you probably sat in a corner."

I shrug. "I'm just.. stuck."

"Well, listen. My advice is believe him. He hasn't given you anything to not believe him, he hasn't kissed her or given you any reason to believe he's not been loyal. You can't always assume the worst and then walk away, you've got to give him the benefit of the doubt. He loves you, and until he truly shows you he doesn't, you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not being stupid?"

"Everyone in love is stupid." Dad laughs. "But you have to take a risk, and Ruby you've always played it safe, take it. Take the risk."

I take in a deep breath. "Thanks dad,"

"No problem,"

We hug and I leave. I collect my bag and head back to Harry's. When I woke up on his kitchen floor this morning I felt ridiculous. I showered and headed straight over to my parents.

I spent the day doing barely anything, I ate, watched tv and text Lottie to let her know I was okay.

Jack: Hi, its Jack. I saved my number in your phone last night, you probably don't remember.. just did it to check you're ok this morning

R: Hi! Thanks, I appreciate you looking out for me. I'm fine, showered and refreshed just a minor headache

J: Just a headache? Wow. You got lucky, you were pretty trashed

R: I do hangovers really well, but thanks. Did I embarrass myself?

J: Depends what you call embarrassing

Oh god. I humiliated myself didn't I?

J: But no, I wouldn't say you did. You're an okay drunk, there was no crying or vomiting

R: Thanks for looking out for me. See you at work tomorrow.

I made some food, saving left overs for Harry in case he was hungry after the flight.

I was a little anxious in all honesty. I always felt a little anxious when it came to not knowing what to expect, not knowing how something would turn out.

When I heard the door unlock I sat a little straighter. His boots sounded against the floor and I heard him sigh as he placed his bag down.

When he walked into the living room he looked tired, he looked how I felt.

"Hi,"

I watch him walk slowly into the room. "Hi,"

We don't say anything and the tension was obvious.

"Good flight?"

He shrugged. "Like most flights, quite long, very boring."

I nod looking down at my nails.

"I think we need to talk,"

I look up at him, he moves over to sit beside me.

"What happened yesterday was completely my fault,"

I don't say anything, I just listen.

"I wasn't honest and I should have been. Me and Camille are friends and there is strictly nothing else to it. The entire flight home and all last night all I did was think about you. I was mad at myself for hurting you, for making you question me, for making you cry, for making you think I was someone I'm not. I love you, and there is no one else I want to be with but you. And I am so, so sorry that I hurt you. You were right, I can't talk myself out of things all the time and this one I know for you has been hard hitting, I'm not expecting you to be happy with me straight away, but I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you."

I shake my head. "You're not going to lose me."

He watches me.

"It only hurt because you didn't tell me the truth, you told me about Tess, what happened there. You said you've learnt your lesson but yesterday I felt you hadn't. I love you, of course I love you but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you humiliate me and say oh it's fine, I'll get over it. This isn't just you and me, it's the world. The entire world are watching us. They want to see us hurt, well, me."

He takes my hand and kisses my knuckle. "I've missed you so much. All I've wanted is to see you and be with you."

I swipe my tear away.

"Don't cry," He frowns. "Please don't, I keep making you cry and I hate it,"

I shake my head. "Just tiredness,"

He wipes under my eyes. "Yeah, party animal."

I give him a small smile. "I was pretty wasted."

"You were, that Jack guy was nice though. He looked after you,"

I nod. "Yeah I text him to say thank you."

He pulls me in and kisses me. "I love you, I'm sorry."

I kiss him again. "I love you too."