even if it's a lie by matt maltese makes me legit sob so much. like i'm listening to it rn and i'm crying so much lssmemsm. it makes me sad for so many reasons and you should 100% listen to it.
ok so this is gonna be sad and dumb cathy so skip if you want (:
honestly, i've been in a really sad mood for days. i don't wanna tell anyone about it bc i don't wanna bother them with my dumb self and i choose to just keep my mouth shut about everything. so i guess i'll just write everything on here while i cry lolol ayyy.
okay so i just cannot feel any happiness sometimes. i mean people can make me very fucking happy, but then i'm left with myself bc we stop talking and i can't make myself happy. i just can't. i try, but i can't be left with my mind for even a second bc i just don't like myself ??? i can easily point out a flaw of mine. i know it can be pretty annoying to have someone always calling themselves ugly, but i can't help it lol. i get that we all have insecurities, but i don't know.
i legit sometimes can't even get out of bed or eat anything bc i'm just so tired. tired of everything. i sleep a lot and only wake up to feed my siblings, then i sleep again. i try my best to seem happy for my friends but i really can't. i just stop talking to everyone bc i don't like pretending i'm happy.
i'm also losing so many friends and i don't know why it just makes me really sad bc i really care about them and i want them in my life. i don't say anything though bc i'm stupid and i let them leave. i just feel so fucking alone and i hate it so much. i know i have people around me and stuff, i just feel alone i guess.
my mom makes me feel like she fucking hates me. she yells at me for every little thing i do. like if i stay in my room bc i don't wanna go talk to her boyfriends children since i don't feel comfortable, she'll tell me how disrespectful i am even though i said hello. like i'm sorry i'm not comfortable with ur boyfriend and his kids, this shit takes time. she does other stuff too, but whatever.
there are many other things that just make me feel like dying but let's not talk about those lol. okay so if you actually read this, i know i'm overreacting and blah blah. i just wanted to i guess rant. okay bye
