Right There || Dylan O'Brien

chapter fifteen; ice cream

When she woke up from her 4 hour sleep, Clara stared at the ceiling as she sighed. It was Monday, her first day without her at school, she was going to spend her lunch all alone. There were probably going to be people talking to her about it, some teachers perhaps who were asking if she knew how she was doing. She didn't want it, she didn't want any of it, she didn't want to go to school. How was she ever going to survive this?

She moved her hair out of her face before standing up to search for some clothes from her wardrobe. She put on some water proof mascara. She was sure she wasn't going to keep it dry today. She would cry, probably would spend her time in the toilets at lunch, not being able to be the only one sitting at a table alone. She wished her mom could let her stay at home, but she wasn't sick. She knew she had to go.

After doing her makeup, she went to do her hair and brush her teeth. Then she walked down the stairs, noticing her mom already sitting at the dinner table. She had made her a sandwich, there was also standing a class of apple juice. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"I just don't want to go to school" was her short answer, not really knowing what to say. What w  as she supposed to say? That she wanted to stay in bed all day and just sleep until her best friend came back? On the other hand, she also wanted to throw things against the wall and scream. None of those was going to be possible.

In some way, she disliked screaming. Maybe it was because she knew she was going to break down crying again, also she didn't want people to pay much attention to her. And staying in bed all day, no, if wanted to build up a future for herself, she had to go to school and graduate.

"You can call me if you need me, I don't have much to do today," was her mom trying to encourage her. Of course she hated to see her daughter like this and she was doing so well. She hadn't seen her so social and happy since a very long time. "I'm right there for you, I'm sure your sister would like to talk to you about it-..."

"You told Sandra?"

"No, that's your job," she held her hand, caressing the back with her thumb. "Sweetheart, you need to talk to people. You can't do everything alone, as much as you'd like to."

She nodded and then sighed, "I know. Hayley said the same before she left."

"She knew you so well," she let go of her hand as she smiled, handing her the sandwich. "Now, eat something. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

 ----

She knew Hayley told her not to lock herself up in her room again, but she couldn't help but want to be alone. Only if it was just for today, tomorrow she could hang out at her sister's apartment she got free from work earlier. Now she could paint, put her emotions on paper. It was she was best in without anyone around her.

Clara wasn't only upset at Hayley for leaving her like that, but it was life what she most upset about. She remembered she told herself not to get too close to people because they'd leave eventually. Like Hayley said, she was so happy and everything was going so well. It didn't even last a week and she left, she couldn't even wait for graduation. Her father just had to leave.

Everyone left; they would move, they would die or Clara would be the one to leave. Like it was contagious. Life didn't want her to get too comfortable.

Maybe that was because Sandra put pressure on her Friday; if she didn't fight for Dylan, he also would leave. A relationship came from two sides, not from one. And if that meant talking to him about it, she had to. She had to do something.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a few soft knocks on her bedroom door. She didn't want to talk right now, she wanted to be alone. Even though it could be Sandra, her mom, perhaps it would be Hayley realizing she wanted to stay here. She was just being stupid right now, there was no way her parents would let her-...

Again the knocking, but then louder.

"I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Well, I'm not leaving you alone," it was Dylan, who standing on the other side of the door. The gentleman that he was didn't even open the door himself, he waited for to do it. "So we'll just have to figure out what to do instead of talking."

 "It's really sweet of you to come, I just-...I-..." Her voice cracked, so she shook her head. This was why she didn't want to talk. She didn't want Dylan to see her cry.

"If you let me come in, I can take you somewhere. Eat ice cream or something."

And right there, by hearing the word 'ice cream' tears filled her eyes. When one of them was sad, angry, or something bad happened, Hayley and Clara would always eat ice cream together. She told her to get ice cream yesterday, what if her best friend was eating it right now, all alone without her? While Clara had her sister, her mom, Chris and even Dylan with his friends, Hayley had to start all over again. A new city, a new home, new everything.

How could she be so selfish?

"Hayley told me to get you ice cream, she texted me her number the day before yesterday when she made you do the dishes," he told her, ignoring the fact that she wanted to probably yell at him for no reason. Maybe there was a reason; he pushed her to open to door and let him handle the situation. She didn't want to take her somewhere to get ice cream. He wasn't even planning on eating ice cream, he wanted to show her his apartment now that it was done. He worked the whole night for her to basically cheer up for something like that. Now that he thought about it, would that really make her stop being so upset?

And it was silent, footsteps came closer before the door got opened. A small young woman was standing in the door way, gazing at him with wet, puffy eyes. It made it seem like she had been crying the whole day. She was embarrassed, but didn't look like it. "Did she say anything else, anything important?"

"She just wanted me to be right there for you when you needed somebody," he moved her hair out of her face before wiping away a few tears. "She told me you tend to push people away when you don't see any light anymore-..."

"It's selfish-..."

"No, it's not," he took her small hand in his, pulling her onto him carefully. "While Hayley has been yelling at her parents for the last few months, you lock yourself up in your room for days-..."

"But I was going to go to my sister's tomorrow," she defended herself, lying her head against his warm chest to sigh deeply. "And I was at school today, I was even eating in the canteen. And for your information, I was here to paint."

"Yes, alright," he chuckled, shaking her head. "I guess I wrong, but what I was trying to say, we all cope with our emotions differently-..."

"No, don't talk like that. You're just like Chris, talking about dramatic stuff," she stepped away from him, cutting him off for the second time. She had enough of it, hearing all those wise words from older people. If someone was wise, it would be her. "And remember when I said I didn't want to talk and you said we would figure out what to do eventually?"

"Yes."

"Then let's freaking do something else. Weren't you supposed to take me somewhere?" she wanted to walk past him, but he quickly grasped for her wrist. She turned around, confusion written over her face. "Yes?"

"Are you feeling alright now?"

"When you're right there, yeah." She smiled, watching his mouth dropping open in surprise. He then nodded, finding the words to say.

"Eh, y-yeah, I'm right there. Where else would I be?"