Smile ≫ Fillie

0.8 - Anxiety At Max

 Mill's:

TRIGGER WARNING: Swearing and mentions of kidnapping

With my heart beating out of my chest, I walk down the random street in Charlotte. The only light in any direction is the faint street lights that have been replaced maybe twice in the past three years. 

Hargrove Ave reads the street sign with letters chipping off, which is normal in this part of town. I can tell you that for a fact because I lived her when I was younger, we only lived her for a few months and I wanted to stay forever. I'm walking to my old apartment complex where my friend Maddie lives. She doesn't know that I'm coming, nor does she know I'm alive still. 

Her family is the reason we moved so far away, she's the reason I met Gaten and Caleb and Noah, she's the reason I met.....him. 

Our parents went out together to a bar one night, which at the time they were in their mid-twenties and I was five, and they all got obliterated. My parents got me a sitter and well, it was Maddie. 

Maddie was seventeen at the time and got called to pick them up. Mind you, I was five, so I was still very uneducated and she for some reason forgot to bring me along with and just left me outside, in the pitch black, back yard.

(I don't know what this even is, I'm sorry that I'm a shit writer. - Tori) 

I was kidnapped by a man who's name I thankfully don't know. I wasn't gone for very long and nothing, really really bad, happened to me. I was just scared, that was all. However, Maddie's family never heard from us since so for all they know I'm long dead due to murder or something like that. 

I'm still shaking from the plane and the rain, cause yeah, did I mention it's pouring outside. 

My anxiety is killing me and I'm petrified that Maddie doesn't even live there anymore. I'm just going to be stuck outside in the cold, but that's okay. I might need to get used to that soon. I keep repeating in my head what I'm going to, theoretically, say to her and so far it's awful. 

"Hey Maddie, can I crash here? Why? Oh, cause I'm being forced to move away to somewhere I hate and I don't want to so I came here for a little while." 

"Hey Maddie, I'm on the verge of a mental fucking breakdown and my parents don't know I'm here?" 

"Hey Maddie, I'm probably scaring the hell out of my "boyfriend" right now, so he might kill me if he even notices or cares that I'm gone." 

God, I'm such a mess. I don't even know how this is going to work....or if it's even going to. But I need to figure it out soon because I know I'm ridiculously close to her apartment, again, theoretically.  

*location skip - Maddie's front door* 

I take the stairs up a level to the loft apartment. I panic half way through the last step and sit down on the last two steps trying not to cry like a baby. Trying to steady my breathing and clear my throat I just whisper to myself, looking psychotic to the outside viewer. 

You can do this Mills. Just go and knock on the door and ask If Maddie lives there. If not go under your old porch or find some cover. You can do this and you will do this. Come on Mills. It's just a door.  

"Mills?" I hear from an uncertain voice. Jumping halfway out of my skin I turn around panting. 

"Maddie.....?" I ask softly, standing up to get a better look at the tall slim brunette in front of me. 

"Yes! Come inside and warm up! You look like an ice cube." She responds putting her hand on my shoulder. 

"I feel like it too, thank you," I whisper walking over to the door trying not to get her clean floor wet. "I appreciate it." 

"I thought you were dead, I'm so confused." She speaks while shutting the door. "What happened to you?" 

"Oh honey, if you only knew," I mutter while staying by the door so I don't make a mess. 

"Let me go get you some warm clothes and a towel." She motions, walking towards a small room, just like the one from my apartment. 

"Thank you," I reply before she leaves. I sit down taking off my wet black converse and my socks so they can air out. She comes back and hands me the clothes. 

"I think these will fit you if you're my size." She points to the bathroom and I walk carefully to the doorway. I change and play with the shirt for a few minutes, enjoying the warm soft fabric. 

"I appreciate this Maddie, I really do. I've kinda had the worst couple of days recently and needed to get away. My parents are forcing me to move to New York and making me leave everything behind. I had to get the hell away from there and so I came to the only place I knew they would never guess. Here. I was just praying you still lived here, and thank god you did." I sighed sitting on the floor. 

"Mills, I'm sorry. I'm so glad I didn't move. Does anyone else know I live in the area beside you? Someone who might come try to find you?" She asks coming in with two hot chocolates. 

"My "boyfriend" whom of which will most likely leave me if he finds me. He knows you used to live here and that I used to as well. I left him a note with coordinates to here but I don't think he'll come." I shrug drinking the liquid, feeling it go down my throat. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry Mills. Do you want to plug in your phone maybe?" She looks at the charger in the wall above the kitchen.  I get up to go to the charger and just go sit in the kitchen where she is. Sure, thank you," I chuckle. "You still have the necklace I gave you hung up here."

"Of course! I promised I would never take it down. I still haven't moved and probably never will" She giggles. "So do you want to crash here for a while? It's available as long as you need?" 

I stand up and hug her tightly, "Thank you, Maddie. I appreciate it but I'll just add stress to your life. It's okay I promise." 

"Not at all Mills, you'll have your own room and I can make you a key. You're staying here, no other options. You're staying here Mills." She looks at me, still holding my arms, tightly so I know she's being genuine. 

"Are you sure? You don't have to Maddie. I'll just go find somewhere to stay. There's the shelter in the area still right? I can just go there. I'm just a hassle." I question. 

"No. Other. Options." She laughs hugging me again. I smile and she does too. I know it without looking at her. "So, I'll go run to the Walmart and get you a key of your own, okay? You'll be back on your feet in no time." 

"I don't know what I to deserve you. I just rushed back in your life and you're being nothing but kind to me. I appreciate you so much. Thank you." I smile and stare her in the eyes. 

She shows me my room and let's me pick out clothes for tomorrow while telling me that we can go get me stuff I'll need like a toothbrush and stuff like that, the essentials.  I just smile a nod sitting on the bed running my fingers along the material, still in awe of new bed, new life, new chapter. 

A new chapter without Finn.....

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Whoops. 

That was a really long chapter and it kinda liked it for once. It was nice to finally write again. 

The apartments I wrote about are real, I lived in them when I was younger, hence why I sent Millie so Charlotte, NC. I'll start writing Finn's point of view later tonight but I don't think it will be as long. I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I have no excuse. 

I hope you liked this. I love you guys!

-Tori