I solemnly swear that I miss you

Chapter three | ɘɘɿʜƚ ɿɘƚqɒʜƆ

Friday, November 19th 1998

I wake up at 13 pm and look up to the ceiling. I lay there, procrastinating everything I have to do. After a while I go downstairs for breakfast. I have the wand in my pocket, I'm going on a walk later.  The wooden floor is cold against my bare feet, and it's raining outside. I hear the calming sounds of raindrops on the roof and smell the smell of cold and wet wood house.

I hear sounds from downstairs.
Mom is in the kitchen, making food for herself. I suddenly feel sad... It is like all the color has gone away from the burrow as all the children has left. What will happen when it's just her and Dad in this big house, with all empty rooms?

After I move out, Ginny will probably go out her seventh year and move somewhere with Harry. Then theyr'e going to be all alone.

And then, I think of my parents death. My parents are going to die. Everyone is going to die. And mom is just there, making food for only herself. Nobody else, like it always has. It's depressing. I am depressing. The world is depressing.

"Hi mom"
"Oh, good morning sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

What a question. I guess I'll lie as usual.

"Ok, I guess"

"That's good"

"Yes"

"So you're going to a party at Reagans house?"

"Yeah"
"It's weird, we live so close and still we don't know each other at all"

"Mhm" I say, roasting some bread. I feel like I have to say something more but I don't know what that would be. While waiting for the bread, I get a plate and pour up some milk in a glass. After a while of silence it pops up and start eating while leaning at the kitchen-sink.

"Aren't you gonna sit at the table?" Mom says.
"No"

"Why not?"

"I don't feel like it" And with that, I drink up my milk and tanke the last bit of bread in my mouth.

"I'm going on a walk just so you know" I say, taking my shoes on.
"Okay, come back till dinner!"
"Sure" I say, opening the door. The weather is so depressing right now. The sky is grey and it feels like it's going to rain at any second. I start to walk. And walk. While I walk, I think over things. What will happen in my life. Will I ever find someone?

Will I have a family? What is happening to me and Fred's shop?
I don't know, but I don't really have a choice but continuing it. I mean, I didn't graduate Hogwarts.

I take out my wand and start playing. I point it at a large stick.
"Locomotor"

I make it fly a couple of inches above the ground. I make it move from side to side. I wish I had control over my life as I have over that stick

I make it crash onto a tree. It breaks into pieces, like my life. Why does everything need to be so hard?

"Locomotor" I make another stick fly and crash it onto another tree. Another one. I feel teardrops. But it's like I don't exist. Only these stupid fucking sticks.
There is a lake in front of me, I hate how beautiful it is. How it mirrors the trees around it.

Everything is just so peaceful and quiet. It makes me stress. The air is fresh and I make small clouds of air when I breathe. The ground is wet.

"WHY DID YOU DIE?" I scream into the emptiness. A bird flock flies away, scared, from a tree.
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? WHY? I HATE YOU" My screams fade out to just tears.

Then I hear a sound. A voice.

"Hi George" I look up. At first, not seeing anything, but then, a pale face becomes visible next to a tree. It's Luna Lovegood. Has she heard everything? I hope not.

"H-hi Luna"
"It's very sad" No shit. I am sad.

"Don't you think I know that?"

"I do, from the screaming and the tears" I hate how she is so obvious. Why is she even here?
"I was going to fish for Plimpies but you've scared them all away. I guess I have to wait until they come back"

"What is a Plimpy?" I suppose some of her imaginary creatures.

"Oh, it's short for Gulping pimply, they're delicious. You can help me fish if you want to"
"Er... I'd love to, b.."
"Oh! That's sweet. I haven't got another fishing rod though, but we can share one" She smiles at me and starts walking down to the lake.

She got so happy... I don't have heart to say no. Even though we won't get any... Gulping Plimpies.

"So... what does these fishes look like...?" I say, next to her.
"They are blue. And shimmery"

"Okay..."

She gives the Rod to me.
"I don't really know how to fish"

"It's okay, just throw away the bobber and wire it in when you feel that somethings on"

"Okay.." and we sit there in silence for a while, and it doesn't feel awkward at all. I just see the bobber floating over the surface, waiting for eventual fish.

After maybe half an hour I feel a twitch, and another one shortly after.
"Just hale it in" Luna says calmly, to not scare the fish away.

I do as she says, and surprisingly a blue-ish fish follows the string.

"What the..." So they exist? Why does everyone say they doesn't?
"Oh! You've caught one! It's quite small though, we might have to throw it in the water again"

"But... we have to show someone?"
"Who? I think knowing about them yourself is more important than the whole world knowing"
"What do you mean?" She is quiet a couple of seconds, then start talking.

"People would hunt them, making them even more extinct. It's better that everyone thinks I'm silly than that"
"But you're dads magazine seems to want the whole world to know"

"No, it's for those who already believes it, those who don't doesn't read it"

"I understand..." And I think I do.

"Throw it away now. It's my turn"
I slowly release the fish from the hook and let it go. It leaves a tiny splash before it swims away under the water.