The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr.: "The Proton Express..."

"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express..." Part VII

"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express..."

Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas...And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?

Equally important...Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's...

Part VII...

At the demand of the newly arrived aptly named Bwarry Wyckcliffe...

His parents, based on family history, having hoped to make his life a bit easier in doing so having far overshot...

...To be fair, eagerly seconded by several of the others, a reluctant Swift...Fate of Humanity, people? Really a time to chow?...Had ordered food to be brought to the conference room...

Till I'm prwoperwly fed, the Fate of Humanity can kiss my starwving ass...Bwarry noted, grabbing pastrami on rye.

Proton, meanwhile, a bit annoyed at receiving what was plainly orange and not tangerine chicken... Swift can "repelatron" himself to deep space, contact aliens, find undersea cities of gold, but he can't take a dinner order...As Dr. Amy reviewed Swift's notes on the mathematical symbolic language he and his "space friends", "exo-Martians"...Yeah, some "friends", Proton had noted...Dumping a cargo of infectious, or at least creepy and crawly things on us...

Munson Wyckcliffe likewise engaged, though not adverse to urging Penova Hofstadter to have a seat and conduct an international dialogue...

Preferably with tongue...

("I didn't write that..." Leonard sighed to a glaring Penny. "My contribution..." Lesley smiled, rather fondly to Penny. "Say thanks for that Collaborator's Agreement, article two, paragraph one, my tightass Texan..." she nodded to Sheldon, who, accepting, the praise of his other nemesis after Brent Spinner, returned same.

"'My' tightass Texan...?" Amy, narrow glare to Sheldon...

"It's one of the nicest things she's called me." Sheldon nodded.

"Wait. Are we callwing Wlesley a wlesbian herwe?" Kripke asked, somewhat odd glance to a suddenly less ebullient Lesley. Penny, catching look.

Whoa.

Well, she has done it with practically every other male in town, except maybe Rajesh and Stuart.

"Hofstadter? I expect Cwooper to be an asshole where Winkle's concerwned but...While for the wears of Human Rwesources therwe's nothing wrong with that, a bit clichéd mean, don't we whink?" a rather grim Kripke, hard stare at the suddenly befuddled Leonard.

My God...Penny stared.

He's actually...

"Lesley came out months ago, Kripke, where've you been?" Howard shook head. "She's ok with this, aren't you, Lesley?"

"Yeah..." somewhat muted tone, glance Kripkeward...

Wait...Bernadette stared. A puzzled Howard glancing to her...Oh...Seeing her look.

Whoa.

"Were you also one of Lesley's heterosexual sex partners, Kripke?" Sheldon asked. "If so, joke's on you..." beam.)

"Quite a place, Swift..." Bwarry noted, sitting with overloaded plate. "Giant rwobots, rwockets, submarwines, nice. But as an Amerwican patrwiot I must say I am sad to see no hot female andrwoids in prwoduction. The Japanese are way ahead of us in that wital spherwe." Wagging finger. "All I can say is, brwing on the Amerwican sex rwobots before we fall irrwetrwievably behind. Unless of course...Rwussia has leapt ahead of the US in that field? How's about it, Penova. You a good time sex andrwoid as well as an exobiologwist? If so, sign me up for the Rwussian Science Academy."

"He is amusing fellow, this one with the speech impwediment..." Dr. Hofstadter noted, amused.

("Honey...I get that my character's more effective being coolly amused by him. But can't I be coolly amused and still deck him in the balls?" Penny eyed Leonard. "Ohhh...Possible forweplay to enwhance the scene. How's about some prwactice rweherwsal later, Mrws, H.?" Kripke suggested, oily grin... "I can give you pwointers with the accent."

"No." Penny.

"That's my character's icy Rwussian manner, don't take it personal."

"No...I lwove it. But you sure you should be comwing on to me in frwont of your cuckwold? Ow! Hey!" Kripke groaning at the kick.

"You're lucky Leonard's over there with Howard. He'd put you through that door. So, is that the foreplay scene, Bwarry? I think it could be pretty funny." Penny grim hiss, then light normal speech, Leonard anxiously hurrying over on hearing the groan and seeing the aftermath of Kripke clutching himself, dark look at Penny.

"Uhhh...Yeah...Verwy comedic." Kripke, reluctantly taking hint.

"Stop trying to put on a show for Lesley, Kripke." She hissed. Even as Lesley came over, looking genuinely concerned.

"What's up? Besides Kripke?" Glance at Kripke who seemed surprisingly more annoyed with her than Penny.

"Not any more..." Penny, lightly. "Just for the scene, honey." She eyed Leonard's own concerned look. "Bwarry gets lesson, is perfect gentlesman from now on. Hilarious."

"Yeah..." Kripke, groaning again. Lesley eyeing him, then slight frown Pennyward.

"Come on, I wanna discuss the next scene, screenwriter." Penny pulling Leonard.

"You coulda let me." Leonard hissed as they walked away.

"You'd've killed him." She hugged him. "No question, my lil' muscle bound, relatively speakin', natch, homonucleus."

"Still may before we're done." Singsong whisper.

"He'll be good now. Nothing like a Nebraskan lesson in manners." Penny beamed. "Hafta see if I can redo it for the camera without hitting him. It does make for a funny scene."

"Let me see how long I can prolong it...Slo mo the kick, maybe?" Leonard, glare back at Kripke.

"You ok?" Lesley, uncertain, to Kripke.

"Verwy funny." He glared. She blinking a moment...

"Look...At the time..." she began.

"Yeah, yeah...I gotta get ice. My next scene's coming and I'm a prwofessional. Sis." He walked away.

"Everything ok?" Bernadette had come over, gentle tone, careful look to the stunned Lesley.

"Shut up..." Lesley stalked off.

"Are we taking a break? Amy can go get me tangerine chicken so she can play getting me tangerine chicken in the next scene." Sheldon noted.)