CALIFORNIA LOVE

CALIFORNIA LOVE-Part 47

CALIFORNIA LOVE

POST 47

WRITTEN BY HEAVYNLI

Shipp has finally fallen asleep on me and I slide out of the bed and into the bathroom. I am in the shower which is mirrored on one side... I check my body out... I look healthy enough I was losing some weight but I didn't think it was too noticeable..... we leave Maui a day later and head back to Cali.....

The kids are outside playing with Grammy and Shipp is starting a load of laundry. I'm in the bedroom messing with my camera when Shipp walks in.... He leans against the dresser and says.... Cali, babe... is there something you want to tell me. I see his jaw clench up like I had so many times before and he says I found two things.... I look at him and he says ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME CALI......

I look up and he pulls something out of his left pocket and hands it to me.... what is that?

I look at the package of birth control pills that he found....

He wipes his face.... why are you taking birth control, Cali?

He folds his arms over his chest.... his leg shaking..... he says I'm waiting....

I try to keep my voice calm but it quivers a little bit... Shipp....

He says you know what, don't.... he reaches in his other pocket and pulls out a vial....  his face looks stern and worried at the same time... what is this...?

I get up off the bed and ouch his arms but he doesn't move... I let my hands down and look at him... I take the birth control off the counter and say this is because I'm taking this.... I hold up the vial....

Shipp what are these?

I said its medication....I... my voice cracks and then I clear my throat... i'm taking the birth control so I wont get pregnant and these pills are chemo... Demetrius, I have cancer.....

SHIPP WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????

The room is frozen for a moment and he looks like someone punched him in the stomach....

He had never broke down in front of me before, but today he was a wreck....

What? Where... how long have you known? He peppered me with non  stop questions.

I answer each one

He grabs me and holds me crying into my hair... I love you so much Cali... I'm so sorry baby. I wipe his face but the tears keep coming and I am now shedding them too.... baby.... don't tell the babies.... don't tell anyone....

He clears his throat...Cali he says softly... that's not fair...we love.

I wipe his face again and say that is exactly why. I don't want everyone dwelling on me and pitying me.... I want you to live just like we were living before this happened....

Shipp: Cali I can't do that...

I says DEMETRIUS! you can and you will.... just pray for me...

Shipp sighs....rubs the left side of his neck and twists his wedding ring....

he was trying so hard to keep it together... I kiss him and he is reluctant at first to kiss me back.... but I keep trying and he finally gives in kissing me back passionately... hoisting me up and laying me on the bed....he tugs at my clothes.... yanking them all over and staring at my naked body..... his fingers trace every inch of it as if he was recording it through his fingers for his memories....

His tongue travels the path of his fingers.... he moan as he touches the hot spots and takes my mind away.....

We fall asleep and wake up to knocking at the bedroom door.... I moan roll over and wake Shipp....

I hear his mother's voice on the other side of the door.... Shipp, Cali... ?

I get to my feet and grab a robe.... I crack the door yes mama?

She says everything okay? I say yes ma'am what happened?

She said it was just so quiet up here I was just making sure everything was okay.

I said we were sleeping how are the babies...

Mrs. Shipp good... I got em get some rest....

in the morning Shipp is up first and I'm still sleep... for about 5 hours longer and he is starting to get worried.... he has been up bathed and fed the kids and Kaiden who is now drinking out of a sippy cup is ready for mama's kisses.

Shipp nudged me Cali.... cali bae wake up.

I groan and turn over still sleeping.... he takes Kaiden to his sister and closes the bedroom door.... shaking me Cali....

I open my eyes but I feel like I can't move my body.... I motion for water cause my throat is dry and say I can't move....

he says give me one second... he closes the doors to all the bedrooms and gets me dressed.... and picks me up and carries me to the car....

Shipp where too Cali... We drive to UCLA and they rush me into emergency and tell Demetrius to wait... he waits for almost 2 hours before someone gets to him....

Shipp how is my wife, can I see her?

Doctor she is resting... unfortunately.... the cancer has spread.... we are now looking at stage 4...

Shipp breaks down.... the doctors help him into a chair and continue....

When he finally gets back to see me I smile... he smiles back... hey wife he says...

I say mr Shipp...

he looks  so worried...

I say they told me already...

Shipp can they operate...

I shake my head... its too much...

he's flexing that jaw and I smile.... it's okay to be upset babe...

Shipp- fuck Cali you cheated.... we were supposed to be old together... I was now 37.....

2 days later I was released from the hospital with the official statement being pneumonia....

his mom was all over me.... i would sneak to take meds in the bathroom as not to worry her...

Shipp was walking around looking sad...

Mrs. Shipp Demetrius let me see you for a minute son....

He goes into the den with his mom and she says what the hell is going on? the truth son...

Shipp says mama Cali's real sick and that's all i can tell you...

i knock on the door and he comes out... yes baby... i said call Britt...

Shipp what's up... i say just do it....

i didn't want to scare him and tell him i was throwing up blood...

i had everything prepared...stacks of letters for each of the children... picture books full of family time together and trusts for each of them..... i knew Shipp and Grammy would be able to raise the babies just as well as i wanted them too. i was just worried about Shipp... but i was sure he would find someone....

he calls Britt and arranges a flight for her and comes into the bedroom... Cali what's going on?