Pretty Brown Affair

Chapter 12- Moving On and Doing Better

Long time has pass and my life has changed, but not for the worst. Me and Lun'elle has officially gotten a divorce on December 6,2009, he agreed to not take my kids from me, and he doesn't want alimony. He wanted us to go to therapy just so we can resolve some issues and move on, I agreed to the therapy. As for LJ's last name, Lunie told him that he can keep it and hyphenate it to Lun'elle Robert Malone-Williams, which LJ said "yes" to. School has started back and work, I've been putting in loads of work at my job, and today, February 9, 2010 at 1pm, is me and Lunie's 2nd therapy visit with Dr. Nancy Thurwin, who's an excellent therapist.

Our last visit, I found out that Lunie loved me some much that if I told him that I wasn't satisfied, he would've tried to fix it. He also admitted to his homeboys from college who worked with him and his co-workers told him that they thought I was cheating on him with a secret lover in Minnesota, which was very true, but he didn't believe it. Hearing those things made me feel even worst then before! He thought highly of me when I was lower then the next infidel, I wished I didn't make a fool out of him like that. But today, it's time to face my faults and get over them, which is still alittle hard since I've been holding some much in. I walked in the waiting room to see Lunie getting some water out of the water filter, "Hey Lunie.", I said sitting in a seat. He replied, "Good afternoon Jennifer. Good day at work?" I shook my head yes and smiled, "Yourself?" He sighed, "Yeah, just got to finish this blueprint for this new corporate building in Scottsdale. It's extremely stressful." I giggled replied, "Bless your heart." He giggled back. Just this little conversation was refreshing to me since all the chaotic changes from last year. We waited for about 5 more minutes until Dr. Thurwin called our names, making us both walk in together and set beside each other on the couch.

"Well, how are you two doing?", Dr. Thurwin asked with a smile. We both said "good", and we started talking about somethings starting with why we decided to officially end a long relationship. Lunie's answered the question, "Well, I ended it because, I felt like our relationship was a so fraudulent, I loved this women with all my heart and once I heard that she had a whole other relationship, it made me feel... It made me feel... Unwanted and Less of a man." He looked down and I saw his eye watering with tears, making me feel even more guilt, if I knew that this would hurt him as much as he's showing me right now, I would've never started that affair, enjoyment or not, it wasn't worth it! Dr. Thurwin asked me, "Can I ask you Jennifer, what motivated you start and continue this other relationship?" I looked at her, then looked at him, who's head was still down, then I sighed, "It was because, I was craving attention from Lun'elle. He worked so much and I was going to school, I thought he wasn't interested in me anymore." He looked up and interrupted me saying, "What!?" "Mr. Malone, let he speak, continue."

I continued with tears forming in my eyes, " When we went to the concert, I left the house without him telling me, "Baby, you look good", so when the the lead singer told me I looked good, it was a connection once he started caressing me, and when slept together, it was like a void that was finally filled." Lunie left out the room in tears saying, "I need a minute, I'm sorry." I got some napkin to wipe away my tears, then Dr. Thurwin asked me, "So, you cheated because of a void, why didn't you just tell Lun'elle that you had an emptiness in your needs?" I replied with a sigh and told the truth on myself, "Because, I was selfish! I wish I would've just told him, Lunie's a good man and he's never cheated on me. I was thinking with my emotions, and not my mind." I started crying harder, after about two minutes, Lunie came back in the room at set back down. I then said to Dr. Thurwin, "Dr., can I please say something to Lunie?" She replied, "Of course, if Lun'elle would listen." He said, "I will, what is it Jennifer?" I wiped my eyes and nose before facing and replying to him.

"Lun'elle, I'm so so so sorry for my selfishness and all the hurt I put you through back in the 90s. I should've just told you about my emptiness instead of using excuses and pleasure as coverage, you're a good man, father, and you were an excellent husband. I know that we'll never get back together, and I understand that, you deserve so much more then me. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, and I hope you find someone to love you and gives you the fidelity you deserve." He looked at me and started tearing up, "Jelly... I forgive you. That's all I wanted." He stood up and embraced me in his arm and for the first time since the early 90s before my affair, we cried in each other's arms, together! It felt so good to know that he accepted my apology. We cried for about a good 3 minutes before the session was over and Dr. Thurwin asked me before I left, "Jennifer, who did you meet in '92?" Lunie was outside and I replied, "Well, I met Mint Condition, and had an affair with the lead singer." She then says, "Stokley Williams?" I nodded "yes", "Why?" "Girl, I use to date him in the 80s in high school. I'm originally from St. Paul and went to Central High, I'm a year younger then him, I was 15 he was 16, I was in love with him deeply! He was my first everything and to be honest, I can see why you got caught up with him, he was probably the best relationship I've ever held... Besides my husband Stony. Did he turn you on to vegetarianism?"