My Special Snowflake (updates monthly)

Chapter Six

Lighting the fire was fun.  Papers were stuffed everywhere and the wood was damp with lighter fluid.  We each received a lighter and walked around the pile.  Before long there was smoke rising to the darkening sky and the fire was competing against the sun for the brighter light.  Luckily for me laughter with these friends was easy.  Even feeling like shit they could make me laugh.  While the sun was sinking we sat and chatted in a circle just outside the blazing heat of the fire.  The atmosphere was calm, but my heart rate was still high.  I had felt my phone vibrate in my pocket a few minutes ago, but I forced myself not to grab it.  I had shoved it into Andy's hands and let him hold onto it.  Every once and awhile he would grab my hand and give it a comforting squeeze, knowing why my hands were shaking slightly.

When the sun finally dipped below the horizon and Jo's moms had gone back inside the house, we started a game of Paranoia.  I sighed as I coughed up my only penny for the game.

"Alright, here's how the game is played for those who need a reminder," Jo announced as we all settled down.  "Whoever goes first asks a question to the person on their left, but quietly.  The person answers aloud.  The penny is flipped.  Heads up the question asked is revealed.  Tails up the question remains a secret.  After it goes all the way around the circle, we switch places to mix things up.  Ready?  Who wants to go first?"  No hands went up, like usual.  

"Come on, someone has to go first," Andy said to the crowd.

"I don't hear you volunteering either," Al retorted.

"Ugh, I'll go first," Kayla sighed, putting her hands up in surrender and grabbed the coin and handed it to Jo who was sitting to her left.  She took a moment to think before leaning in and whispering something to Jo. 

Jo laughed before answering, "Fish."  There was general laughter as Jo flipped the coin and it landed heads up.  "I was supposed to say what I kill the most often."  The circle erupted in laughter.  Jo loved her fish, but she had a bad habit of killing them.  

Jo then leaned into Al who was quick to answer, "You, idiot."  The coin was flipped but it landed on tails.

"Who was your first best friend," Jo sighed as she gave away her question.  Al leaned over and quickly murmured something in Andy's ear.  He frowned a little and looked around the circle.

"Honestly, probably Marie."  My head snapped in his direction as Al laughed their head off and everyone looked confused.  The coin was flipped and it landed on heads and Andy let out a sigh of relief.

Andy didn't waste time thinking about my question before leaning over and whispering, "Mfk."  I looked at him.

"What?"  He sighed and rolled his eyes while smiling a little bit.  I didn't know why he bothered.  He knows I don't understand abbreviations.

"Mfk," he whispered in my ear again.  "Marry, fuck, kill."  I gave him another puzzled look.  He laughed this time.

"You really don't play paranoia much, do you?"  I shook my head and he leaned in again.  "Mfk, marry fuck kill.  Who would you marry, who would you fuck, who would you kill.  Within circle."  I nodded, finally understanding as I looked around the circle. 

I wasn't sure how to answer.  I didn't want to marry Kayla, I didn't know her that well.  Jo and Al were close, yes, but to marry them?  No.  Andy was my only choice on that one.  Fuck?  Well both Kayla and Al were asexual, and Jo was too sweet for that.  That left Andy again, despite him being gay.  Kill was easy.

"Andy, Andy, Me."  There were weird looks from Kayla Jo and Al, but Andy just looked shocked and a little sad before giving me a tight hug.  I flipped the quarter, and thankfully it landed on heads and everyone would just have to go curious.  I grinned slyly as I leaned in to ask Kayla her question.

"If you had to choose someone in the circle to really confuse, look at them sexually and say their name."  Kayla started laughing her wheezing laugh before looking at me and returning my sly smile.

"Oh, you, Marie.  I choose you."  Everyone joined in laughing as Kayla flipped the coin and it landed on heads.

We then switched around and went around the circle again, and switched and went around again.  We went until none of us could think of any more questions to ask.  We all layed down and watched the stars go by and just told stories and laughed.  Andy and I lay next to each other, holding hands just for the comfort of knowing that someone was there.

"The stars are pretty, aren't they," I murmured under my breath.

"Yeah, they really are," Andy responded back softly.  "They're a nice constant to have.  They never fail to be there."  I laughed a little mockingly. 

"Not always.  Everything has a lifespan.  The stars will die one day.  We may not be here to see it, but one day they'll be gone.  Just like us, out planet, hell even the whole universe will die one day."

Andy gave a little bit of nervous laughter.  "Getting a little dark there?"

"Yeah, sorry."  I paused, for a moment before continuing.  "But that's the scary and dark part, huh?  The fact that it's true.  I know it, you know it, we all know it.  We just don't want to realize it, because, well, everyone hopes that maybe someday life won't be dark and scary."  Andy nodded, but stayed silent.

A few moments later a car pulled into the drive way and honked.  I shielded my eyes from the headlights to see that it was my mom's car.  Sighing I went around and gave everyone hugs and saying good byes.  I went up to Andy last and he gave me a tight hug, handing my phone back to me.

"Are you going to be okay?"  I hesitated.  normally I would lie and say that I would be fine and flash a reassuring smile, but something held me back.

"No," I admitted.  He nodded slowly.

"I kind of expected that.  Night Marie, see ya later."  I smiled a little and waved and headed towards the car to go home.

"I kind of expected that."  Andy's words rang in my ear.  No one had ever told me that, and it was kind of nice to hear, to know that someone actually saw through the masks I put on.

A/N: Happy Halloween everyone!!!

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