The Art of War

You're Not My Jii-chan!

*Chapter by just-another otaku*

I was thrown with Fu into a room with some futons in it and Ace, Sabo and Luffy.

"Hello... Uh, sorry... For the intrusion... We'll be living here now, so, Ace, no sexism." I said. Fu nodded enthusiastically.

"So where are the spare futons?" Fu asked, not realising the awkward situation she was creating.

Ace and Sabo looked at each other, looked back at us, then at reach other again while Luffy began sawing logs.

"Well... I hate to break it to you, but there aren't any..." Sabo said, looking sorry for us.

"Exactly. Piss off." Ace muttered.

"HEY!" I shouted, my teeth gong sharp in my anger.

"If you want, one of you can share with me. I'm not giving it to both of you, because Ace kicks..." Sabo blushed. I pushed Fu forwards.

"Fu-chan and Sabo-kun can share~" I smiled and pushed her again. She was blushing, how precious.

Fu climbed into the futon, mumbling something incoherent as she 'accidentally' snuggled into Sabo.

Suddenly I realised it. I was far too stupid to see it before.

"Rose-chan, you have a nosebleed..." Fu called out.

Kuso!

I have to share with Ace. The cute raven haired boy who I, like, like like. My life is too hard.

How will I not end up petting his hair? And cuddling him. And glomping him.

"Ace-kun, that means you're sharing with Rose-chan..." Fu did a pedo grin.

"No."

"I'm sharing. Are you too chicken, brother? Does this make me the big brother?" Sabo's grin was pretty shit eating.

"Fine. Don't get too used to this, spoilt brat." Ace huffed.

I let Ace off for calling me spoilt just this once. He doesn't know my past, and he doesn't want to, from what I can tell, so he'll never understand how hard I've had life.

I crawled into the forum next to Ace. I was beat from all that had gone on. "N'night, F-u-oooh-u-chan..."

The second my head hit our pillow, I was out.

-----

I couldn't believe I was in the same bed as this adorable blonde, who looks kinda like the Artful Dodger from the book that Kaa-san used to read us.

"Night, Rose-chan!" I grinned to myself.

I was so tired from all that's gone on since and before the guy who isn't my Jii-chan kidnapped us, I fell asleep immediately.

-----

Garp was in a pink tutu, wearing ballet shoes with ribbons tired around his calves. He twirled and kicked out a leg. My eyes were burning.

"Rose, come and join your Jii-chan. It's fun."

My eyes almost popped out. I shook my head mutely, no way was I gonna do that. Especially not with Garp.

He did a pirouette and kicked out a leg. What the hell was he thinking when he bought those clothes? He looks like a mad man who should be in a loony bin on some remote island I'm the Grand Line, not kidnapping children.

Then again, he looks like he would kidnap children.

"Come on, join us..." He whined.

Us? I looked around.

Oh my god. There was a cross dresser in a pink jacket that said Okama Way and had swan heads in the shape of a two, a weird thing over his upper legs and a fairly normal top, compared to the rest of his clothes. He, too, had ballet shoes adorning his feet.

I ran away, screaming for my burning eyes. It was bad enough with only Garp in his ballerina clothes.

-----

"She looks like she's having a bad dream or something..." Sabo commented dryly.

"Yeah," Ace shuddered. "Whatever it's about, I don't want to know."

-----

"Look how cute little Acey is with his Wose-chwan." A voice cooed.

I tried to get away from the loudness and light by snuggling in further to the pillow I was hugging.

"Shut up." Another, familiar sounding voice responded.

Something took the warmth off my back. I hugged my pillow closer.

Arms and legs hit at me. "Get off!"

I blearily opened my eyes and nearly jumped out of my skin. The pillow I'd been using was a really cute boy! And I had him in a bear hug.

I jumped off. "S- sorry..." I rubbed the back of my neck.

Memories off the day before invaded my mind and I was a step as I heard Luffy talk about being a pirate. Before I could shush him, everyone else was too. Well, our fate has been sealed.

We're going to be beat up by a crazy old man.

I heard the cracking of a fist behind my head. Slowly, I turned around and saw the geezer with a scary smile on his face.

"What's this about pirates? Even you two, Rose and Fuyuko? I guess I'm disciplining five brats now..." He said, now blowing on his knuckles.

First of all he hit me and Fu. We fell to the ground with huge eggs growing on our heads.

"Ch- child abu- se..." I chocked out.

"Crazy... O- old man." Fu muttered.

"Call me Jii-chan already..." Garp whined.

"Come on, let's leave while the crazy geezer's distracted..." Ace whispered.

My hands shot out and grabbed his and Sabo's ankles. If we had to go through it, so did they.

"And where are you going while I'm distracted?" He hit them.

"Use your Oto-Oto fruit." I mouthed at Fu. She nodded, already working on it.

She cast an illusion with her music. We ran away, while Garp was, hopefully, distracted.

I looked back. "OH CRAP! THE GEEZER'S FOLLOWED US!"

Is that even possible? She cast an illusion and Garp saw through it. No time to wonder, though.

Garp was knocking over trees in his hurry to 'train' us. When he hit us, we fell into trees, bushes, water, anything that may, or may not, in some cases, be found in a normal forest.

This was gonna be a long few days.

*AN:

Ok, I meant to update this a while ago, but my xbox (yes, I have an xbox, not a PS3, get over it. I didn't see the point in buying a console that I could play if I asked my brother nicely enough) controller is working again after months of it being stupid and Skyrim happened. Anyone who has Skyrim knows exactly what I mean. To quote lomadia, when I play Skyrim, I don't just play Skyrim. I go to Skyrim for the weekend.

When I wrote this, I had way too much fun with the whole missing futon thing. I can actually imagine this happening the anime, if Fu and Rose were canon xD This story is probably gonna end up as Cat-chan and I having tons of fun putting Fu and Rose in awkward situations. But that means fluffy fluff, which I love.

Ja ne*