♡ Or Will You Not? || Cody Carson {COMPLETE}

16. Why?

(Strongly recommend listening to the song while reading)

"The girl hadn't spoken since her twin had gone. Even though they were never biologically related, they had a bond that nobody around them could understand. It wasn't until recently she had started to talk again. They had said she'd be fine, but any kind of trauma could have reset the progress we've made  quite a while. It was better to be careful than to go back to what you're trying to fix during that time frame." Someone muttered over me. What did they mean? What the hell was going on? "However, something like this is not going to make her run off after all the progression we have made though."

I tried to open my eyes to see who the voice belonged to, I had so many questions to ask them. Who were they talking about, who were they, where was I? What's even happening to me? My eyelids felt like they weighed tons. The only time they've felt that way was when I was hungover, but even then it wasn't like this.

I've never felt this way.

"She's been missing since Friday, and you're not even worried? What kind of half assed officers are you!" A voice on the other side of me cried out. It sounded hoarse and raw, as if the owner of it were crying just before I unknowingly started to ease drop on the conversation.

The other voice sighed and gripped something near me, I assumed a bed sheet, and spoke with a forced sense of assurance. "We'll find her and bring her back home, I promise. As of now, you have got to leave this hospital room or else I will make you." Hospital? Wait, what when did I get to a hospital?

I had become acutely award of the faint beeping, papers shuffling and IV jammed in my arm. Oh god, that meant there was a needle in me. I didn't want there to be a needle in me. Oh god, I had to wake up and get it out right now. I was fine and didn't deserve to be here, I didn't deserve to be somewhere with sick and dying people when I wasn't sick or dying myself.

It wasn't fair.

The, what I assumed, officer left and their footsteps echoed faintly throughout the room. I could still feel the other person was in here with me. They sat down on the bed next to me and grabbed my hand, being gentle enough to not move it. I guess they weren't sure how sore my arm would be. How sweet of them.

"I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry she's gone. I'm sorry you're here. This is all because of me, and I'm sorry." They sniffled and pulled their hand away. It felt empty without them holding my hand. I wanted them to hug me, tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted to be in their arms.

But they just got up and left, leaving me to stare at the back of my eyelids until everything slowly faded away.

~

A note was taped to the middle of one of the phone books in the nightstand. I wanted to say it wasn't there before, but who the fuck checks the hospital phone books unless they desperately have to? Nobody does.

It didn't look like it had been there long, but the ink did look smudged and worn out. It couldn't have been here longer than a few weeks, that's for sure.

I took one quick glance around the room to make sure nobody had walked in while I wasn't paying attention and stumbled over to the door to close it, putting the "changing" sign up. Not that the doctors would care anyway, especially if the door was closed for an extended amount of time.

Leaning back on the bed, I carefully opened the letter and did a quick scan over it to see if there was a name attached at the bottom. I could've told who it was from just by the handwriting, but I had wanted some kind of reassurance.

"I'm sorry.

"If you've gotten this, I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find it or even know it existed. This was supposed to be my own personal letter. There's a few things I want to get off my chest and again, I'm sorry if we've already gone over them. I can't tell the future, or else I wouldn't be writing this. Or maybe I would. I don't know."