The Malec Chronicles

Forever

He keeps remembering the sight of Magnus falling, the image of it like a physical blow, and then the feeling of blood soaking over his hands, hot and heavy and coming in much too great of an amount, to the point where Alec realizes with some sort of clarity that yes, Magnus could live forever, but here is a proof that that doesn't necessarily mean that he will. So later, after Jace is back (with fire in his veins, which is strange, but Alec is sure they can deal) he takes Magnus home with the words he's okay, he's okay, he's okay rebounding in his thoughts as both a reassurance and a prayer, but he doesn't really believe it, not until they walk through the door and it's for Alec to take hold of him, to push Magnus against the wall and kiss him like he wanted to but hadn't during this whole awful ordeal, to try and tell him without words that I'm sorry, I love you, I'm so glad you didn't die.

"Hey," Magnus says, soft and quiet and pulling away from Alec. "I'm alright."

"You almost weren't." This was the whole point of it, the whole problem, the knowledge that this seemingly unbreakable man was mortal just like the rest of them, that Alec had seen the man he loved potentially bleeding out on the battlefield. Alec had known death, it was a constant companion when you grew up as a Shadowhunter, but somehow he had fooled himself into thinking that Magnus was being above all that. "I almost lost you."

"Never," Magnus breathes out, even though its sort of a lie because Alec can still see the rip in his armor and knows that this is just another scar that Magnus would have to glamour over (he had shown Alec once, during a rare moment of honesty about what living forever really meant, and Alec had felt like crying at the sight of all that old pain), and can still feel his blood under his nails. He wants to take Magnus to bed, and wants to force them both to take a steaming hot shower to wash away the memories, and wants to shove Magnus up against the wall again just to prove himself that Magnus is here, that Magnus will not break. "I would never leave you."

"I never want you to." Alec says, and his words tumble out in a rush of syllables, because it is suddenly important that he say this now, before he forgets this reminder, though he doesn't think he'll ever get the image out of his head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how I've been acting, about Camille, how much I've been bothering you, I don't care, I don't care about the past all I want is the future. One with you. Because this is it, for me, okay? I love you, and I'm only going to love you for the rest of my life, you are the only one I want to do that with, even if it isn't forever for you."

Magnus doesn't say anything. Alec doesn't care, though, because kissing works as an excellent distraction and he needs to be distracted, needs the feeling of Magnus's skin on his, wants to be taken back into the bedroom (or maybe just the couch) and remind himself what everything, everything, anything feels like again, because he's terrified there might come a day where he forgets. Because he knows, now, that he'll do anything, put up with anything, accept his numbered days, as long as Magnus is right there with him, counting down the years with the same love that they feel for each other right now.

It would have worked, and it would have been lovely, except when the time came, he still slips out of bed and goes on to meet Camille, unaware that Magnus is awake and watching, cat eyes glowing in the dark.

Once again, thank you to those (especially @nerdhunter) who seem to be enjoying this story!  Your comments make my day!  

Unfortunately, school is starting tomorrow so I might not be as consistent with my updating as usual, but will try my best to keep with the sunday/Thursday schedule.