SMOSH EXPEDITION: The Secrets of Sacramento (Book Six)

Chapter Two - Revelations

Billy Hamburger

   As soon as Brent had stepped inside, I cautiously approached the outhouse door, carefully listening to what Brent was doing inside. I was hearing rustling sounds, followed by an unzipping of a fly, and a sound of a stream hitting soil.

"Billy, maybe he's just doing his business." Charlie said loud enough for me to hear.

"It's a risk we're gonna have to take, Charlie." I replied, gently pressing my ear on one of the walls of the outdoor bathroom.

When the stream stopped, I heard the shuffling of floor boards inside.

"There he goes." I reached for the door handle and pulled it open.

"Billy!" Charlie exclaimed, "I don't think that's a good-"

I fully opened it to reveal that there was no one inside.

"-idea."

"I told you." I said mockingly.

   "How the-?" His jaw dropped open, "B-but... wha-?"

   "Go on, spit it out. I know you're amazed by this." I looked down at him who was snuggling in my right pocket.

   "What the hell's going on in your parents' minds when they decided to put an outhouse here?"

   I just rolled my eyes and proceeded to step inside.

The interior was like any other regular outhouse, illuminated by a single bulb dangling from the ceiling in a yellow hue. There were flies overing over the hole on the wooden panel which was the toilet, and the foul stench of poop and pee were up and about.

"That's fucking disgusting." The guinea pig shuddered.

I took out my phone and turned on the flashlight, my hands going over the planks surrounding the toilet.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked.

"Looking for a secret button." I replied, lightly tapping on the planks until I felt an area that was much softer, more springy than the others. "Here."

   I pushed down the separate piece and it sank into the ground creating a chain reaction that made the entire panel to lift up, revealing a dark tunnel underneath.

   "This is one weird outhouse." Charlie said, mouth agape, staring at the dark entrance.

   "Wow, I've never been so right about my hunches." I suddenly realized.

   "Where does this lead to?" He asked.

   "That's what we're gonna find out." I put one leg out in the small entrance, using it to feel for any stepping stone to get down.

   "Allow me." Charlie interrupted, sticking his head out of my pocket a little more. His eyes then glowed bright red and illuminated the stepladder below, giving me a much clearer view of the tunnel, "I've been practicing."

   I shot him a smirk and started making my way down. It was only three steps before I had reached the bottom. I turned around and we were greeted by a long narrow tunnel extending to who knows how far as Charlie's light was not able to reach the end.