limbs

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The lines on my palms intersect with yours, match the creases on my forehead, they say "you're not stressed"  

what they don't know is that they are the reason I am 

they wipe the tears from my eyes but swallow my words

 choking me 

under my breath 

I plead "help"

someone help me 

I will scream  "you don't love me" 

My limbs, are mine 

your limbs climb into my mind

who are you to color my mind with these emotions? 

I am hungry, for the food they refuse to feed me, 

my throat is dry, from the words of my deserted mind, 

they scream "you don't know the half of it" 

but I know most,

 I have lived on this planet long enough to know why I should be here rather than why I shouldn't, 

but if the crown fits, this princess must wear it

I am a human

 I have limbs 

my arms connect to my shoulder 

I can not think straight until my hands fall behind my back and do as they ask. 

Stand still, back straight, chin up, you are too confident head down, too sensitive, 

who are you to control me? 

The scream I bury far behind my throat tickles the back of my spine

my limbs are strong, but I am weak

 with these words I speak 

"I understand" I yell "yes sir" yes mam" 

you threaten me when I can threaten myself

you choose your words carefully, choosing your vowels carefully, 

as if picking seeds from a basket to create an orchard, say we have to rebuild the issue from the root but the leaves fall as I lay on the ground

 licked clean of any conscience, any time I think of you

I think of my limbs 

you said you loved me, but darling, I didn't even love myself 

I am trying to forgive you, but how can I forgive myself? 

Those words, don't mean anything they told me 

they lied

my limbs may be bruised from the inside

but that does not mean you shouldn't be responsible

 I am tired

hungry and thirsty for the words to slowly trickle out my lips

pour out

fall into my palms 

sink into the lines

and remember where your palm once was 

my limbs, show who I am

 fragile... but strong

 there but not

 here but where? 

where did you go 

what have I done 

I miss you,

but you miss me 

as do I.

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