its been two years since we broke up. i never thought it would be this hard.we have to see eachother everyday. we have to smile at eachother everyday when its not real for jeno.i want him to smile at me sincerely, not just because he has to. i want to get back together with him but i dont think he wants me back. he only sees me as someone who cant except themself, someone who cant take care of themself, he sees me as weak and i cant change it.
as jeno walks through the door he bows at me and looks away, by the next second his eyes darted strait forward like he was avoiding me.
we had to shoot nct dream life today and it had us in an uncomfortable situation. it seems that our fans noticed that we weren't close so they voted for us to do two things. one, play the pocky game leaving only half of a centimeter. we haven't kissed since the day i left him. two, we had to hug. my life cant get any worse.
into shooting past intro
"okay, today we have some comments from the viewers about renjun and jeno" the announcer said. "what?" i whisper to myself. do they know? i thought to myself. i felt my face get hot. i look at jeno to see him rolling his eyes. i scoff in disbelief.
"they all say to do something like pocky and to hug. they also say that you two aren't as close as you are with the other members. lets ask the leader, mark?." the announcer says. "ah, nae. they dont talk to eachother much, they might extange looks but that pretty much it" mark say looking worried. "and this worries you?" "yes actually, it worries me as their hyung to know that they are not having any connections and it sometimes hurts me to know that they live together yet they wont show feelings towards each other. they will have to grow with eachother a-and*sniffle* i " mark starts to cry "mark. mianhae, i didn't know that we hurt you so much". he nods in response. it looks like all jeno could do was stare but i saw the sadness in his eyes. for that reason. for mark, i decided to play pocky and hug jeno.
we stop for a few seconds for mark to relax and then we start. "how long?" jeno asked "half a centimeter" "what?" we all say looking shocked.
my heart begins to pound as our lips get closer. i get into the moment and put my hand around jenos neck as i close my eyes and tilt my head sideways. before i knew it our lips had touched. my heart had exploded like the first time he kissed me.
flash back
we went on our first date to the movies and i felt eyes on me the whole time. the movie finally finishes and i felt a hand move my chin to face jeno. i leaned back trying to avoid him. his body just stays in front of me so hes always on top of me. he leans in as i close my eyes. he pecks my lips. he pulls back and stairs into my eyes for so long that everyone leaves and he stops looking at me, closes his eyes and pecks my lips again. as he was about to pull back i put my arms around his neck and he wraps his arms around my hips. soft pecks were turning into heated kisses, his breath got heavy as i bit his lip.
i looked at the time "oh my god" i tried to say as his lips were still moving with mine. he moves back. "what?" he asks. "its 12 am, the movie ended at 11" we stare at each other, get on our bikes and ride our asses home.
end of flashback
we succeeded at getting half of a centimeter and realize the almost heated moment. love was in the air. i could feel it. without hesitation we both hugged and i loved every moment of his huge build wrapping perfectly around mine. he was so warm and his body was firm. i've never felt more secure since the day i slept over at his house.
