Sunsets and Rooftops {Jamilton} ~Completed~

Angst

He's been like this for a year. Distant, empty, broken.

Ever since John and Washington died in the same car crash. He's never been the same.

John was his best friend since high school. They were as close as best friends could get.

Washington was the father figure in Alex's life. They loved each other very much.

I love him so much and it hurts my heart to see him this way. Especially for so long.

I wish there was something I could do about it but I've tried everything. Some days were better than others and sone days were worse.

But they all had something in common, sorrow.

For a whole year, Alex has been nearly mute, only speaking when he was spoken to or only when he absolutely had to. He also never goes outside to see any of his friends anymore. Only I do.

I'm the only one he ever interacts with anymore.

They worry about him alot. In the beginning, they would try to come to our apartment and talk to Alex and me. He never reacted or responded. It worried me too.

His eyes are always bloodshot and puffy, as if hes been doomed to cry for eternity. He mopes around our apartment doing nothing mostly. In all honesty, he was just a shell of who he used to be.

He even attempted a few times. It scared me. A lot. I didnt want to lose him. Although, if you thought about it, I already had.

"Tommy." I jumped and looked to the lump of blankets on my left. I was shocked. Had Alex just... talked? by himself?

"Tommy." I heard the faint whisper again. Oh god, its been so long since I've heard his voice.

"Yes lexi?"

He turned to face me. Tears ran down his face and were dripping on his shirt, leaving sploches of water. I gasped and pulled him into my lap. Then I wiped his tears and held hin close.

"What wrong, mon amour?" I said quietly so I wouldnt scare him. I already knew what it was. Its been the same thing for a year now.

"J-John and Wash-shington." I heard his voice crack before he broke down into loud sobs. I rocked him for about half an hour.

All of a sudden, he screamed. A heartwrenching scream that was filled with pain and sorrow. He looked at me. His eyes filled with tears and grief.

"Thomas, end it please. Please. End it somehow. I dont like the pain anymore," he pleaded into my chest. I rubbed his back soothingly.

I thought about what he said. How could I do that? I couldnt just snap my fingers and have the grief dissapear in one second. If i could, I wouldve done it a long time ago.

Then an idea hit me. I knew how I could stop his pain. I felt a lump in my chest. Could I really do it? I thought about it for a few seconds as I kept mindlessly rubbing Alex back as he cried some more.

I had to do it for Alex. For my Lexi.

"Hey, Lexi," I whispered. He looked up at me again with his beautiful and sad eyes. "I know how to end it."

"You-you do?"

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"lets go"

______________

I got in the elevator and pressed the top button. There were 20 floors in our apartment complex.

Alex stood next to me, staring at his shoes.

Ding

We got out of the elevator and went to the stairs that led to the rooftop. I checked my watch.

7:45 pm

Perfect. I opened the door and led Alex to thw roof.

When we got there, we were greeted by one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. It was the kind if sunset that had as many colors as you could imagine. They all blended effortlessly to create a materpiece.

I sat down with Alex near the edge and put an arm around his waist. He clung on to me.

We watched the sky wordlessly until the sun set.

When the stars came out, I knew it was time.
I stood up and brought Alex up with me. I guided him closer to the edge.

He followed me without question. I put my hands tight on his waist and he gripped my arms tightly.

I manuvered him so that he was standing right on the edge. I was the only thing keeping him on the Earth right now.

If I let go, then he would be gone.

______________

My breathing started to quicken, but I had to stay calm for Alex's sake.

I looked at him right in the eyes and leaned in. I kissed him. I hadnt done that in a long time.

As we kissed, I started a mental count to ten in my head.

One...

Was I doing the right thing?

Two...

Of course I was.

Three...

This was for Lexi's own good. Right?

Four...

Yes. Besides, this wasnt the real Alexander Hamilton. This was only a shadow. A faded version of the one that I truly loved.

Five...

This is the right thing, Thomas. You are doing the right thing.

Six...

Do it for Lexi. Do it for Lexi. Do it for Lexi.

Seven...

I pulled away from the kiss and put our foreheads together. Then, I saw Lexi smile. It was the first time in a whole year. This time, it was a genuine smile. A relieved smile.

Eight...

"I love you, Lexi."

Nine...

"I love you, Thomas."

Ten...

I let go.

________________

OH

MY

GOSH

DID I JUST WRITE THAT?

WHAT...

I HAVE SHATTERED MY OWN HEART

OH DEAR

welp

~💔