Here Comes The Rain Again (Old Title "If I Fall")

Chapter Six

Josh spent Sunday with us again. Since Megan and I were scheduled to fly back home the next morning, he decided to start driving North that night after we eat an early dinner. He promised to take his time driving and stopping as often as need to eat and rest. Needless to say I didn’t get more than a couple hours of sleep that night as I thought and worried about where Josh was, if he was okay and what was going to happen when he made it home. Home. I couldn’t believe after all this time that Josh was finally going to be coming home, back to me and Ryan.

Ryan was a whole other issue I had to deal with. I still hadn’t told him about Josh. Megan talked me into waiting until I got home and tell him in person. I knew she was right, but to me it would be a lot easier telling him over the phone and having him yell before hanging up then having him yell at me in the face.

The plane landed and Megan and I made it to her car and out on the highway towards home in record time. I was relieved to see Rachel’s car in the driveway when we pulled up.

“Good luck honey. Call me later and let me know how it went,” Meg stated as I started to climb out of the car.

“Thanks. If you don’t hear from me by nine call 911,” I answered removing my bag from the back seat before closing the car door.

“Everything will be fine. Just make sure you do it with Rachel still here in case you need backup. See you in class tomorrow.” Meg smiled as she pulled away.

The house was quiet when I open the door which was strange considering that I knew both my brother and Rachel where home. I made my way towards my room with my bag when I heard Ryan scream out.

Without thinking I ran and threw open his bedroom door to the last sight I ever thought I would see. Rachel was on top of Ryan completely naked and the sound was not because Ryan was in pain. I had just walked in on the two of them having sex.

“Oh God! I’m so sorry!” I stated as I stepped back into the hallway and closed the door.

“SHIT!” I heard Ryan yell just before I grabbed my bag and went to my room.

A few minutes later there was a knock on my door and then I watched Ryan enter it as the door swung opened. He looked totally embarrassed and I am sure I had an identical look on my face. “Em.”

“No Ryan. It was my fault. I heard you scream and thought you were hurt. I just barged in without knocking or asking if you were okay before opening the door. Besides, I am really happy for you and Rachel. I had hoped that the long weekend might bring you guys closer.”

Ryan wheeled his chair over to my bed at let out a long sigh. “Actually I’m not sure what’s going on between us. We didn’t really do a lot of talking.” He joked but he couldn’t hide the smile that grew on his face from me. It was good to see him smile. It has been way to long.

“So where is Rachel?”

“Um, she was a little embarrassed and left since you where now home. Speaking of which, how was your trip?”

OH NO! Now I have no Rachel here as backup. “It was good. Meg’s family is really nice and we had a great time hanging out at her Uncle’s bar most of the time.”

“I hope you were careful. You know you are still underage for another month.”

“I know and I was.” Since Ryan seemed to be in such a good mood I decided that now would be the perfect time to break the news to him about Josh. “Actually I ran into someone down there that we both know.”

“Really, all the way down in Georgia? Who?”

I took a deep breath before looking directly at my brother so I could see his reaction. “Josh.”

Ryan’s eyes widened in shock and then they started to narrow in anger. But at least he wasn’t yelling, at least not yet. I still had to tell him that he was driving this way as we speak and coming home to stay, hopefully.

“Josh was stationed at the Army base in Fort Myers and I ran into him our first night at Meg’s Uncle’s bar. We spent a lot of time together and…”

“I don't care and I don’t want to hear about it,” Ryan replied turning in his wheel stair to leave my room.

I followed him out into the hallway. “Ryan come on. He said he was really sorry for leaving and now that he has been discharged from the Army I convinced him into coming home.”

His wheelchair stopped before he made his way into the living room. He turned to look at me. “YOU WHAT!”

“I convinced him to come back home. He is already on his way driving up here.”

“Well you can call and tell him to just turn back around because HE IS NOT WELCOME!”

That was when I did something I had never done since the accident. I stood up to my brother and yelled back, “YES HE IS! This house is his just as much as it is ours.”

I could see shock on Ryan’s face as we just stared at one another. It was the ring of the house phone that broke our stare down. Just as I reached to answer the phone in the kitchen I heard Ryan’s bedroom door slam.

“Hello?”

“Well I guess from the sound of doors slamming that you told Ryan?”

“Hey Meg. Yeah I just told him.”

“And I am guessing he is not happy about it?”

I let out a loud sigh as I slumped my body into the kitchen chair. “You could say that.”

“Well Honey what did you expect? Did you really think he was going to be jumping out of the wheelchair and do a happy dance that his best friend who left the two of you four years ago and never looked back was now coming home?”

“No. I knew he would be mad but it is not like Ryan has been the best person to live with either, especially when he gets really mad and says he wishes he would have died to that day. How does he think that makes me feel that my own brother, the only family I have left in this world wished he had left me too?” My voice cracked during the last sentence as tears started down my face.

“Oh honey, I wish I was there.”

Before I could respond I heard a door open and saw Ryan looking at me from the hallway with tears in his eyes. He had obviously heard what I said.

“Hey Meg, I gotta go. I’ll see you in class in the morning.” I hung up the phone and just sat there.

“I’m sorry sis,” Ryan said as he made his way closer to me.

I couldn’t look at him as I whipped the tears away. “I know you are.”

“Listen I’m not happy about Josh coming here. But if he promises to leave me alone then I’ll leave him alone. But I am only doing this for you.”

“That’s all I can ask for I guess.” And with that we both went back to our rooms.

*****

What the hell am I thinking? I’m not and that is where the problem started. How can I expect to go back home and act like everything is fine – that nothing happened and we are exactly the same we were four years ago? Well I can’t. This sucks! But I promised Emily I would come back home. She is that only reason I am doing this, but what do I really think can come from this?

Yes, I love her. I have loved her for the past five years. That is one of the reasons I left. She deserved someone better than me - someone who wasn’t damaged and broken. But I can’t deny that happiness I felt when she told me she had never been with anyone. God I am so pathetic.

Well I may have promised her I would come home but I never said I would stay. If things were too awkward then I would just leave again like I planned and head to the West Coast. But could I really leave her again now that I got her back? Well I guess I will just have to wait and see. There is always the beach house?!