How It Happens - Merder Oneshots

A Knock On The Door (1)

A/N

So this is like an what if scenario kind of two shot (is that even a thing?). I'll post the first part now and the second one in a few days maybe. I don't really know how to describe it, so just read it. I would really appreciate your opinion on this (as always by the way haha). Also I'd like to apologize for every spelling or grammar mistake, English isn't my first language.

Anyways, this is set in the beginning of season 2, episode 3/4 maybe. Addison just gave Derek the divorce papers and that's basically all the information you get for now.

It was killing her. Not being able to be with him, to touch him, and yet having to see him every day, having to work with him.

She knew he was still married, but she also knew his wife gave him the divorce papers. What she didn't knew was what that meant for them. Would he sign those papers? Would he chose her, some girl he just met a few month ago, over a women he had known for over a decade? She really had no idea how this was gonna end.

He at that point didn't really know what he wanted. He definitely didn't want to get divorced. Maybe he could even work things out with Addison. But on the other hand he didn't want to loose Meredith. He didn't want to make a decision, but he knew he had to.

Derek had asked her to come to Joe's tonight. And there she was now. Derek was already there, waiting for her.

She knew he had probably made a decision and was about to tell her now. She wouldn't admit it, but she had her hopes up a little bit, but mostly she was just scared.

"Hey, do you want something to drink?", Derek asked.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks for offering though." She was really nervous now.

"Okay, so I've been wanting to talk about something with you. Come sit", he took his bag from the seat next to him when a few sheets of paper fell to ground.

Meredith intuitively got down to pick them up, only to discover it were the divorce papers.

Not signed.

They slowly slipped out of her hands and down to the floor.

And at that moment her heart and all the hope she had broke into a million pieces. She couldn't stay here for longer or she'd probably have a serious breakdown.

"Meredith.", he said, but she just turned around and without looking back she left the bar. Derek at that part was overwhelmed by his feelings. Maybe it was only then that he realized what he had done, how much he had hurt her. This was not what he wanted.

The next day, Meredith decided to call in sick. She couldn't bare seeing him. So she stayed at home, took a long shower, did the laundry, cleaned a little, she even tried cooking something and all in all the distracting seemed to work pretty well.

That was until at some point, around noon, she heard a knock on the door.

She knew it couldn't have been George or Izzie. They'd not come home for at least a few hours, plus they had a key anyways.

There was only one person she could really imagine standing in her doorway. Derek.

She had no idea how long she was standing there, not moving at all, in her kitchen, trying to decide on whether she should open the door and let him in or not.

Derek, the man who not even 24 hours ago had shattered her heart into a million pieces, but still Derek, the man she couldn't get of her mind. And maybe an explanation would really help her to finally get over him.

Eventually she made it to the door and let Derek into her hallway. And there they where now, just standing there.

She was not even slightly moving, she couldn't, she was just staring at him as like he was a ghost or some fantasy creature no one had ever seen.

"Are you okay, Mer?", he asked really concerned about her.

"Am I okay?", suddenly all the sadness inside of her mixed with anger. Of course she wasn't. What kind of a question was that? Her eyes started to fill with tears and there was nothing she could do to stop them from coming. There wasn't even a word to describe what she felt in that moment.

"Get out!", she demanded. She was able to move again now.

"What why?"

"I'm serious. Get out.", she started shoving him, which wasn't really effective. He wasn't making any effort on leaving. Tears fell down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them.

"Derek, please."

She really didn't want him to see her cry. She already seemed pathetic and weak enough, she thought.

He wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't go now and just leave her crying in her hallway.

Before he could think more about what to do, she unexpectedly started talking.

"Look, I don't know whats wrong with me ok? Why I can't get over you, when you", she stopped, "I mean clearly you don't want me because otherwise you would have signed those damn papers, but it's just that...well, every time I see you every single piece of my body wants to kiss you, to just be near you. And when you're not there I miss you so damn much it hurts. I cant think of anyone or anything else, but...you. I-I don't kno-"

He smiled at her. She wasn't sure wether it was just a friendly smile or if he was making fun of her.

She had finally managed to stop crying, so she could continue talking much more serious than before.

"What is so funny?", she asked, "I know its crazy and weird and pathetic...so pathetic...but it's definitely not funny."

"It's not. It's just that you're so cute and...you're falling for me.", he started.

"What, no I'm not-",she was trying to deny it when she realized he was most definitely right.

"I know I'm right ok? Just let me explain it", he continued, "I know I'm right because I am feeling the exact same way.", he paused, preparing for what he was about to say.

"I am so in love with you. I know you're afraid because you never felt like this before but so am I. I never experienced something like that. You drive me crazy, in a good way, and damn you don't know how much I want to kiss you right now."

In that moment it was like nothing else mattered for her.

Derek loved her.

And she loved him too. She wasn't ready to say it yet but they both knew it was true.

"Then why do we keep talking...?", she whispered taking a step towards him.

"Maybe we should just stop talking." he whispered extending his arms to put them around her waist and cautiously pull her closer.

"Wait.", she said, knowing that if she'd continue now, there'd be no holding back.

"What about your wife?", reality had suddenly hit her. She didn't want to be the other women again. She couldn't be the other women again.

*to be continued...*