Hartaches and Larksongs

and common sense takes over

we      can barely

look

at each other anymore.

though fairly,

we fare courteous....kind

-but never like the things which were, before.

such haste.

(had you never trusted me to stay

?)

and so it is happening:

that which I feared it would

-but I do not choose to hold the fear over the

looming sadness. I am not afraid

for myself. (I got used to this, I can go through it again, can't I?)

if there were something I could ask,

something I could take from the ones around me, us;

it's the space we lack now,

that we never seem to have nowadays.

over one blind profession.

the...words that make up the tune to my butterfly song

are the words I heard at So, So Wrong

o'clock in the morning

which I may never hear again aft-

er today strikes ten

and common sense takes over.

oh we may all agree

that I am cruel for being so pragmatic.

even when you kind of

spill your heart onto my hands and I,

at this time I do

think of

oh the many futures we could step into (We could have this, that.

Be this, perhaps. Mayhaps. We might.), and

then I wake and

common sense takes over.

(I wish I could tell you,

had the circumstances been

even just a little more favorable than what is now –have you ever considered that,

the turn-out would have been so greatly different?

had things been even a little more favorable than what is.

and ho you were brave,) but

shame, shame.

(I really, still REALLY like hearing you speak!)

when we talk it isn't words.

we        can               barely       look

at each other anymore (but I know you would never mean me any harm).

isn't it a shame?

because common sense takes over

and we never really speak much

now.

 I used to think the

creamer on the tea was enough and

ice cream used to make me happy.

because it is happening,

that which I feared it would:

when people grow up too much and way before their time.

why so much the hurry?

the things I tell myself,  along with: "haste

and inexperience       make       for   a bitter end."

I will keep on telling people that

(had you only listened. but I never had the chance to tell you I was afraid to

break the spell

when I knew it eventually would

end, it would end of itself.

selfish. I also get selfish.),

to spare them from what happens eventually. 

Azure was the night, yet

black was the morning.

upon seeing that star shoot accross the ocean......sky expanse I

wasn't able to

ask for anything. if I could have brought myself to be

any sadder, I would have.

(yet –all day –I had already been wishing you would

reappear,  just like the magick I read about in my books

-but it just wouldn't happen.

I myself, I went to you. I couldn't lose.

I was not capable of losing anything from this one time, only this one time.)

and even if it....became as I had thought -no, better -I had

  also known it was a blunder

on both our parts because neither was being careful enough,

         and neither was thinking of the present enough, so lost in tomorrow

          that the immediate weeks ahead we had not considered enough.

especially I,

for I, especially, knew that common sense takes over after said revelations.

I knew.

and I knew I was

being so unfair but I had

wanted to hear so badly. (for I really,    r    e    a    l    l    y      like hearing you speak.)

Now unfair is the word I always hear (from

you especially).

I am too safe inside my little shell of pragmatism and I “can’t afford to

allow it to reach me.”

what? no.

(no I am simply saving it.)

I have so much to give, which I am saving:

so that even if common sense takes over,

I’ll have so much to give, even when

that troublesome and so-called common

sense takes over.