Bad Boy Religion

Chapter 14 - Journaling

Chapter 14

Journaling

"I'm gonna kill you!" I scream as I chase Ashton and Mary around with a water hose.

We were all screaming like little children on the warm February day. Global warming was definitely working because there was snow on the ground in big mounds but it was also t-shirts and shorts weather.

For the first two weeks, I avoided talking to him, claiming I just needed some time. Eventually, he made his way back to me by being his crazy self.

"You're slower than my grandma!" Ashton shouts and I huff.

"Guuuys, this is not fair...I'm all wet!" I slouch letting the hose drop as I cross my arms like a little kid.

"That...is exactly what she said,"  Ashton remarks and I let out a groan.

We were trying to wash Mary's car, but we ended up just chasing each other with the hose.

I ended up getting drenched while Mary and Ashton were completely dry except for the splatter of drops.

"Guys you need to leave soon...my sisters are coming home..." Mary's sisters had an awfully big crush on Ashton. It was kinda cute really, they were these thirteen-year-old brats who would follow after him asking him for "a quick selfie" or "do you have a GF?"

It definitely didn't help that his eyes locked on mine when they said that word with my face turning beetroot red.

"I'll drop you home," Ashton says and I nod.

After we clean ourselves off, we say goodbye to Mary fully knowing she would have to go back to UCLA soon and we might not see her for a while.

"Do you wanna maybe stay come over for a bit. Eat dinner, watch a movie type of thing?"

"Sure."

He takes a left at the intersection instead of a right and makes his way to his house.

Once we enter, he has me pushed up against the wall. And I gasp and the unexpected touch from his body.

"Why'd you wear a white shirt today?" He groans into my ear and I shudder.

"What's wrong with my...Oh..." I say realizing my shirt was very see through.

"I want you so bad." He says into my neck and trails kisses. I push him off of me and walk away.

"Are you teasing me, Dalia Golightly?" He shouts from behind me and I shake my head.

"No, I'm hungry."
Oh and also I go crazy when you touch me like that and I panicked and asdfghjkl.

But he didn't need to know that part. I enter the kitchen and he trails after me.

"I'm gonna take a shower. While I'm at it, make me a sandwich bitch-I'm just kidding ow! Okay that one hurt!" I whack him one more time with a ladle I found hanging off of a hook.

"I'm a feminist too! I just like seeing you mad, you're like a little mouse trying to yell at an elephant ow! Ow!! I'm outta here the fuck..." He runs off and I can't help but have a big smile on my face.

I ended up putting together three BLT sandwiches (he was a growing boy and needed two sandwiches) and popping popcorn in the microwave for the movie. I set out two glasses of root beer for both of us. Ashton loves root beer and I've seen him go through so many bottles of it.

Such an odd drink to love but he was an odd guy so I didn't question it.

I decided to go to his room to see if he had an extra shirt I could wear since mine was still slightly damp.

As I rummaged through drawers of clothing, a small crumpled piece of paper falls out of one of his many T-shirts. I unravel the piece of paper and realize it's a journal entry.

I shouldn't read it. I was invading his privacy. I bite my lip and start reading.

January  23, 2017

I really fucking hate that every time I come home to an empty house I wanna kill myself. Whenever I'm sitting in class, and my thoughts wander off they go straight to Elliot and I feel like a piece of shit again. She makes me forget for a little bit. But then she leaves and his face comes back.

I should be me dead not him. He was the better person. He'd do that, make me live with my guilt so it ate me alive. That's how he always taught me. Whenever I'd yell at him or get into a fight with him, he'd stay silent and let me suffer from guilt until I came back to say sorry.

Elliot was smart. He would do that. I just didn't think he'd die and then leave me with the guilt of killing him.

I wanna kill myself so badly sometimes.

Do you ever want to fucking die? It's all I can thi-

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Shit.

________

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