Searching For The Light: BTOB Changsub x APINK Chorong ✔

Chapter 20

Chapter 20 | Grief

when you're tired,
when the tears fall out,
just remember this oneㅡ
you are more precious than me,
i'll hold your two hands,
i'll be here
ㅡBTOB, I'll Be Here

#

Changsub:

I walked away from Chorong's door, but not completely leaving. I don't want to leave her, no matter what she's going through right now, but I don't want to invade her space either. Maybe she needs some time alone. Maybe we'll be alright. She'll be alright.

When I heard her door click open, I watched her from afar as she picked up the plastic bag I left by her door. Even from a distance, I could feel the sadness that surrounds her.

And when she had closed the door, I returned in front of itㅡjust staring at it, not knowing what to do or expect. Even though she clearly told me to go home, I found myself sitting down on the floor, leaning my back against the cold wall outside her apartment, hoping that maybe she would call me and I'll be there for her in a heartbeat.

#

Chorong:

"You have to let me go."

"No... no..." I mumbled in my sleep before waking up with a gasp, and tears. I felt so weak, like my whole body is wobbly. I made myself as small as I could between the center table and the couch in my living room where I had fallen asleep, and then I cried so painfully like my heart is literally shattering.

I have dreamed of mom.

In my dreams, she was moving. She had emotions again. She was normal.

And she told me to let her go, with tears flowing down her face the way it had been in the hospital.

I buried my face deep into the couch as if it could block everything else at that moment. I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to let go of her. How could she ask me something so difficult to do in my dreams?

#

Changsub:

"Bomi-ah," I called while I was having my morning coffee at home. I'll be leaving in a while to start recording some of the other songs for my debut album.

"What?" she asked, her cheeks were like balloons from taking huge bites of bread. I don't know how she could eat so much in the morning.

"Perhaps, did something happen to Chorong?"

Her eyes widened. "Did something happen to her?" she asked worriedly.

I frowned, "That is why I'm asking you, I do not know."

"Oh," she said, chewing slowly. "She hasn't been in the shop. The last time I saw her was when Naeun dropped her by the shop. Actually, I just get in using the extra keys she lent me."

I nodded quietly, staring at my coffee. I received no calls or texts from her. I'm growing more and more worried.

"Are you guys okay? Did you fight?" she asked.