If I Stay

06/08/17 - 7.14am

**FLASHBACK**

"Lydia! Freddy! Breakfast!
...And you handsome! You need your bacon this morning because I'm not having a grumpy husband take me to work."

"Oh you know me so well, thank you darling.
Now gimme a kiss"

...

"OH MY GOD MUM! AND YOU DAD!
I DONT WANT THAT TO BE THE FIRST THING I SEE IN THE MORNING! EW!"

"Give it 10 or so years Lydia and you'll be doing this with Stiles, and then you'll understand"

"No Mum! I'll be with Stiles but I will not be giving my kids nightmares at 7 in the morning."

"Lyds, if we never did this at least, you wouldn't be here today".

"OH MY GOD DAD! Why would you put that image in my head!
I've lost my appetite can you please just take me to school."

"Of course, let me turn off the radio"

"No dad wait!"

'-HAVE ALL BEEN CLOSED FOR TODAY DUE TO ADVERSE WEATHER CONDITIONS.
ONCE MORE THE SCHOOLS THAT HAVE BEEN CLOSED TODAY ARE BEACON HILLS HIGH SCHOOL, ST AUGUSTINE'S AND BEACON HILLS NURSERY .
STAY TUNED FOR MORE INFORMATION ON SCHOOL CLOSURES ON BEACON FM'.

"OH YES GET IN! Do you hear that Freddy? No school!! Yeah!

"But do you know what that does mean, Lyds?"

"MUM, if you say the snow cabin I would rather go to school"

"IT MEANS THE SNOW CABIN!!!"

"Great. The day I've been dreaming off actually comes around and I have to spend it in a cabin, in the middle of the woods, with nothing but food water and board games. Can't wait."

"Hey, there's books too."

"Oh yeah mum, that makes it so much better."

"Listen hunny, you can take your cello and even invite Stiles if you want, I've got work so it'll be just you, Freddy and your dad and Stiles if he can be bothered to get out of bed.
But first can you help me with what clothes to wear"

"Sure mum."

"I wanna show that Beccy that I've got really good fashion sense as well as brains!"

"Okay mum...
You do realise that you don't actually have good fashion sense and it's me that helps you."

"Beccy doesnt know that"

"Sure mum. Come on then"

---

My mum had been brought up in a really strict family who sometimes would put their children down to make themselves feel better.
She was always unhappy there and felt alone which is why when she found out she was having a girl, she promised herself she would make her daughter grow up feeling loved and appreciated by her family.
And that's what shes done- and still does.
My mum is so gentle and harmless. She always jokes about wanting to look better than Beccy but I know they love Each other deep down.
My mum works as a nurse and it baffles me because she only wears her own clothes to work and then she changes but she cares about looking nice 24/7.
I on the other hand have good days and bad days and I don't care who sees me on either- take me for what I am or don't take me at all is my motto.
She has a lot morals and loves to give amazing advice and that's why I will always look up to her but I can't say I look up to her fashion sense.
Oh god.
Thank God I'm still alive and here to help her out with It, god knows what she would do without me- or me without her...