PS. I'm Still Here

30.

    "So wait? She threw your belt? Why was she still holding your belt? Was she planning on doing some kinky shit?" Brooke asks.

     "I can't see how that's important to the story," Dean says and rolls his eyes. "I'm having a crisis and you're wondering if she wanted to do kinky shit with me."

     "Okay so, you didn't get hard. I mean that can happen sometimes right?"

     "Yeah but...that's not it. I wasn't turned on, at all. And she was gorgeous. A month ago I would've been all over her but now I don't know. What if I am gay? Like she said," Dean says looking at her worriedly.

     "You, gay? Ha that's funny. Dean Winchester I think you need to take a look at yourself and think about what you just said," she says.

     "But if I'm not gay then what's wrong with me?" Dean asks.

     "Well have you ever considered the fact that you might be bisexual," Brooke says like its the most obvious thing in the world. Dean stares at her with a clueless expression on his face. "You know, liking girls and guys. There's nothing wrong with that. And maybe you just weren't feeling it tonight. I think you're overthinking this.Haven't you ever thought about the possibility that you could be bisexual?"

     Dean looks down at his lap. "I can't think about that. My dad would disown me. He's practically homophobic."

     "Well that's his problem, Dean. Not yours. You need to be who you are because clearly this has been weighing on you for awhile. It's going to be okay," Brooke says and smiles at him giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Now, lets stop with all the feelings and I'll get us popcorn and we can watch a movie."

     Dean nods and smiles. "You know one of these days you're going to have a crisis too and I'm going to have to help you."

     "Sure hon, whatever makes to feel better," she teases and he throws a pillow at her. 

     "I need a movie with a lot of action and blood and manly stuff," Dean says and grins.

     "Yeah whatever," she yells from the kitchen. "We might as well just binge Game of Thrones."

-

     The next morning Dean decides to sleep in instead of going to Professor Novak's class. When he wakes up he logs onto Skype finding that Cas sent him loads of messages after he logged off yesterday.

dean67 is offline

angelcas: dean, you need to message me as soon as you're online. I'm really worried...

angelcas: ok seriously dean please just let me know that you got home safe.

angelcas: I really like you dean, you're not allowed to let anything bad happen to yourself...

angelcas: dean, you better message me back soon

angelcas: call me, message me, just come online

missed call from angelcas

     Dean sighs and puts his phone away while he gets ready. He grabs something to eat and some coffee. Brooke isn't home since their creative writing class is still going on. He locks Brooke's apartment when he leaves and drives back to campus, which is only a five minute drive. The drive takes a little longer since its raining outside. He decides to see if he can catch Professor Novak at the end of class so he can hand in his essay. He's walking around and something feels off, he gets sympathetic looks from a couple people he knows. He looks at his phone and sees a couple missed calls from Sam. He's outside by the parking lot next to his class waiting for it to let out so he can speak to Professor Novak. He sits on the steps so that he's covered from the rain. He decides to call Sam since he has a few minutes. "Sam, hey what's going on? You psycho called me like five times," Dean laughs lightly.

     "Dean...something happened..." Sam says softly.

     "Okay, well what is it? Are you alright? Did you and Nita break up?"

     "I'm fine...no we didn't break up," he whispers. "It's Grace...uh...Dean she was in a car accident last night..." 

     "Grace? L-Like my ex girlfriend Grace? Okay, is she okay?" he asks softly.

     "N-No Dean. She...she didn't make it."

     Dean looks up to the sounds of someone unlocking their car. Right in front of him is the exact car Cas told him he drives, a 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V, with Professor Novak there about to get into it. Dean drops his phone and gets up walking to the car quickly in the rain. He doesn't even notices the tears starting to form from the news he just received. He grabs Cas' shoulder and Cas turns around looking at him. "Dean."

     "Cas?"