Speak No Evil (on hold)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8  Skye’s POV

     What have I done? He was just trying to be nice... Why did I have to flinch? Things were going so... well, for the first time in a long time he was sober. And then I just had to go and mess it up. I glance down at my wrists which were tightly bound by bandages. I had an urge to cut again, but I knew I should at least wait a few more days unless I really wanted to kill myself. I’m such a screw up.

     Just then my cellphone began to ring, and I jumped in surprise.

     “Hello?” I asked, my voice weak.

     “Skye? It’s me, Jason.”

“Hey Jason, what’s up?”

     “Actually, I was just checking to see if you were okay. Not to sound like a creep or anything, but I went by your house and things seemed a little… off.”

     My throat ran dry at his words. I tried swallowing past the lump in my throat.

     “Haha, everything’s fine. But thanks for worrying.” I replied with fake happiness.

     “Yeah, no problem. I gotta go now.”

     “Oh, okay! Bye.”

     I dropped my phone as the line went dead. I needed to be more careful. At this rate, he would find out in no time. How could I be so stupid? I looked down at my wrists once again feeling as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I deserve this. I’m so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid girl.

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     I didn’t want to get ready for school this morning. I didn’t even want to move. I felt as if the whole world was against me. Why can’t anything go right? This morning, when I got up to get something to eat, my father was awake and sitting at the kitchen counter. He didn’t talk to me, but there was this one second where our eyes made contact and there was so much hurt in his eyes that I couldn’t bring myself to even be angry with him. I was more angry with myself. Standing at the school parking lot thinking really wasn’t the smartest thing I could do, but I didn’t really care. It’s not like it matters where I am. As long as I stayed out of everybody’s way I’d be okay.

     Too bad I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to notice Amber Lynn the queen of the school coming round.

     “Oh, look who came to school today!” Amber exclaimed with glee.

     “OMG! Skyeeeeee, you came back!” One of her cronies squealed.

     “Yeah Skye, we thought you finally killed yourself for sure!” Amber smirked.

     “Sorry, not yet.” I replied, my voice icy.

     I couldn’t take this. Not now. Not after everything that had happened. Just walk away Skye. Walk away. WALK! I turned sideways to escape from the curious glances of passing students, the furious glare that Amber shot at me, and the fake, glorious smiles Amber’s cronies shot at me.

     “Where you going slut?” Amber called out to me.

     Ignore her. Ignore her.

     “Hey Skye!” A familiar voice called out to me.

     I glanced up and couldn’t help but smile, there was Jason.

     “Hi.” I called out softly.

     Without anymore words Jason joined me on my right as we walked. I saw him glance down at my wrist. I didn’t miss the way his eyes widened a little. I didn’t miss the way his mouth curved downwards.

     Great. He’s disgusted. Of course he is.

     Unwanted tears prickled my eyes.

     “Jason! Why are you going with her? She’s just a little bitch. Just a cutter. come hang with us.” Amber sneered out.

     I watched in horror as Jason’s face morphed into one of complete anger. I staggered backwards in fear. I watched as Jason slowly turned around to face Amber, his face turning slightly red.

     “God Amber, you are the slut. Just leave Skye alone! She hasn’t done anything to you. She’s never done anything to you!”

     The look on Amber’s face was priceless, had I not been so scared I would have laughed. She then huffed and walked away with all her fake friends.

     Jason took a deep breath and looked down at me. I shrank backwards from fear and his eyes widened again.

     “Aww shit.” Jason groaned.

     “I scared you didn’t I?” He asked, one hand covering his face.

     I nodded, but to my surprise his face changed into one of complete and utter shame.

     “I’m so sorry Skye, I didn’tmean to scare you. I really didn’t.”

     I blushed noticing that many people were watching us.

    I reached out and slowly tugged at Jason’s arms. He look at me through his hands, which were covering his face, and gave me a sheepish grin as he began to move with me. He soon dropped his hands from his face and slipped his fingers through mine. I blushed harder, but looked away.

    This is so embarrassing.

     I look down at our hands as we get to the courtyard.

     Why am I not scared? Why do I feel so safe right now?

     “I’m not scared of you.” I whispered.

     He looked at me with a small smile.

     “That’s good Skye, you know I would never hurt you.”

     I nodded my head cause I knew he would never, but it wasn’t really a matter of him hurting me. I had a problem with keeping people close. I always pushed everyone away. But Jason. Oh Jason was different. So sweet and caring. And I must be crazy I’ve only known this guy for a few days. How could I be so utterly in love with him. Wait. What. No, I couldn’t love him. I couldn’t love anyone. No one would love me. No one can love someone like me. A monster. I can’t even take care of myself. I only knew how to destroy myself.

     “I know you’ll never hurt me… I know…” I said, my eyes filling once again.

     “Oh baby, don’t cry. Let me love you Skye, let me love you.”

     I stared at him in shock.

     “I… I can’t. I’m so sorry.” I replied closing my eyes and turning away.

     Just as I was about to bolt, Jason grabbed my arm. I flinched at his touch and he let go immediately.

     “Oh god, I’m so sorry Skye, please don’t be scared of me.”

     I look at him devastated.  Even though I wasn’t scared of him, I was still scared of being touched. I was still scared. And there wasn't anything I could do or say to change that.