The Confessional// gawsten ✓

012. geoff

warning: strong language below

Dear God, who most likely isn't even FUCKING real,

I'm currently sitting on the roof of the school, contemplating whether to jump and end it all.

Ever since Awsten and Otto got back I've been avoiding them. I doubt they're even worried about me.

Latley I've been thinking about the reason I was sent to this school in the first place, which is the same reason I've been thinking about ending it all. I'm a worthless piece of shit according to my parents. All they ever wanted was a talented amazing son who would one day get married and have a beautiful wife and kids.

I ruined that dream for them. Sometimes I feel like I deserve all the bruises I got. The screaming in my ears I heard from the minute I woke up to the minute sleep took over my body. Most days it hurt to move or even breath. It was my dad's way of showing me "tough love".

My mother's voice rings through my ears every time I close my eyes, haunting me every moment of every day. "You're just a worthless faggot, no one is ever going to love you" was her favorite thing to say. She never failed to make her words feel like knives.

I wonder how much greater their life would have been like if I was never born. All I ever did was disappoint them. That's all I ever do for anyone. So why am I still here? I could end it all right now, yet I chose not to. At least not right now.

Please give me some sort of sign... anything. I need it.

-Geoff