Scared

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Shawn

I fixed my hair and looked in the mirror one last time before taking a deep breath.
Today was the day.
I wanted so badly to admit that I loved Y/N today, but something inside my head was fighting against it, and I knew why.
She wouldn't say it back.
When we first met, she told me that she would never fall in love, and she was set on that. Then I asked her out, by some miracle she said yes. Ever since the moment I saw her, I felt something.
Maybe it wasn't love at first sight, but it was something. She made me unbelieveably happy and she was my inspiration to keep writing music. She made me keep dreaming, because with her by my side, I could do anything.
I smiled to myself in the mirror, thinking about my perfect girl, while I fixed my button up. I was wearing a white button up with black jeans.
I had everything planned out. Our day would consist of little surprises, gifts, and at the end of the day, the park. We'd sit by the water, under a tree with glowing lights, and watch the sunset while I sang to her.
I stepped out the door, grabbing the keys to my Jeep and heading to her house. I listened to John Mayor on the car ride over, trying to calm my nerves.
I pulled up and she was waiting on her doorstep, picking flowers from her garden. I smiled to myself and unbuckled my seatbelt, walking over to her.
She didn't notice, so I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her body into me, and nuzzling my face into her neck. She giggled and tapped my nose with the lily she had in her hand.
"You know, they'll never grow if you keep picking them." I stated, kissing her cheek and stepping back. She rolled her eyes and handed me the little bouquet.
"Yeah, but you're worth it" She smiled,  and I swear the sky got brighter. She kissed me gently and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She pulled away after a minute, "So, what's the plan? Why are you so excited for today, handsome?" She said, I took her hand and led her to the car.
"You'll have to see, beautiful" I grinned and started the car as she pulled her seatbelt around her.
We drove into town, singing to the radio on the way there. Playing Ed Sheeran and some of my own music.
My head spun with the worries of how she would react when I told her that I loved her. It was driving me crazy.
She sang along, her beautiful voice against the music, until her attention was drawn to me.
"You okay, Shawn?" She asked, I glanced over at her and shot her a smile before turning back to the road.
"Fine, baby" I muttered, she nodded and I placed my hand on her knee to relax her. It seemed to work.
We arrived in town and we wondered around the shops for a bit. Every time she would see something cute in a store that I knew she really liked, I'd pick it up without her noticing and put it in a large bag that I got at the first store we went to.
She kept trying to sneak peeks at the bag, but I'd catch her.
The afternoon came quickly, so we settled into a little cafe. I let her open her gifts while I ordered some food for the two of us. After each gift, she'd give me a kiss and continuously say that she didn't really need it, But she was so thankful.
I bought her a beautiful lace, black dress for our fancy dinner tonight. She gasped when she opened it,
"Shawn, it's... it's so gorgeous. Thank you baby, for all the gifts." She said, hugging me quickly before taking her seat once again. She admired the dress before placing it back in the bag as our food arrived.
We ate and spoke, about music, careers, just everything. I felt so comfortable talking to her; except those three words that scared me.
Once that was over, I drove her and I back to my place to get ready. I sent her to my guest room to get ready and she thanked me before running off.
I went into my room and put on a dress jacket and a tie, deciding that the black jeans worked anyway. I fixed my hair a bit before knocking on the guest door.
It was nearly four and I wanted to be done dinner so we could go.
Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted as I heard the tap of heels on the stairs. I turned and saw Y/N, in her gorgeous dress, smiling at me.
I stood up and cleared my throat, taking her arm as she reached the bottom.
"May I occupany you to dinner, my lady?" I said, putting on a posh voice. She giggled and nodded, taking my arm.
"Yes, you may" She kissed my cheek and I led her outside. We drove to the restaurant, talking about our day and complementing each other on their dress up.
We pulled up and I escorted her into the restaurant. During the whole dinner, I was quite nervous. Thoughts flooding my head that she might break up with me if I said it, especially too soon.
Maybe I won't do it. I'll just sing the song, and hopefully she'll catch on that I'm so madly in love with her.
"You okay, baby? Seem distracted." She commented as she ate her chicken, I snapped out of my trance.
"Perfect, sweetheart" I said, holding her hand across the table. She smiled and continued, myself as well.
We finished eating and I took her back to the car.
"Home?" She said, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head and started my Jeep.
"One more stop" I stated, she smirked and ran her hand down my arm.
"Sure you don't wanna go home?" She said, I looked at her and she started laughing.
"Tease" I smirked and drove towards the park. I had trouble keeping my eyes on the road as the sinking sun lit up her features beautifully, not that she wasn't already so gorgeous.
I parked, noticing there was only two other cars in the lot.
We started our walk on the trail, which mostly consisted of her asking why we were here.
I walked into the little shop, where I asked them to hold my guitar. I thanked them and took it, her eyes widening as I brought it out.
She smiled and grabbed my other hand, and I guided us to the spot. The sun was close to setting, nearly fifteen minutes until it was gone.
As we approached the set up, her grip on my hand tightened and she looked at me. Once we were in the middle of all the lights, we sat down on the blanket. "Like it?" I asked worriedly, she turned towards me and pressed her lips to mine gently. It lasted for a few minutes, until I finally pulled away, although not really wanting to.
"I have a surprise for you" I said, running my hands through my hair. I pulled my guitar out and strummed the cords. "Ready?" I asked, my voice shaking.
"Ready." She smiled, I took a deep breath and started playing.

I met you in the dark
You lit me up
You made me feel as though
I was enough

We danced the night away
We drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up

When you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute I was stone cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest

Then you asked me to stay over
I said I already told you
I think that you should get some rest

I knew I loved you then
But you'd never know
'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go
I knew I needed you
But I never showed
I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go
Just say you wont let go

I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed
And being you coffee with a kiss on your head
And I'll take the kids to school
Wave them goodbye
And I'll thank my lucky stars
For that night

When you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute I forget them I'm older
I wanna dance with you right now

Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever
And I swear that everyday you'll get better
You make me feel this way somehow

I'm so in love with you
And I hope you know
Darling, your love is more than worth it's weight in gold
We've come so far my dear
Look how we've grown
And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go

I wanna live with you
Even when we're ghosts
'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most

I'm gonna love you till
My lungs give out
I promise till death we part like in our vows
So I wrote this song for you
Now everybody knows
That it's just you and me till we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go
Oh, just say you won't let go

I finished and strummed the last cord before looking up at her, to see her crying. I placed my guitar down before wiping her tears and wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder.
"One day, I'm going to ask you to move in with me. Then, I'm going to marry you and it's going to be the best day of my life. Until the day that you and I have children of our own and watch them grow up over the years. And once we've lived our lives, and we are grey and old, I'm going to hold your hand and we are going to talk about the wonderful, full, love-filled years we have spent together and I won't regret one single moment of it." I said, she hugged me tighter.
I reached over and turned the lights off, so the only thing bringing us light were the stars. I laid down and she placed her head on my chest.
I sort of told her.
I wish I could say it.
Those three words.
Her head fell up and down with my chest and she had a small smile playing across her lips as we stared up at the stars.
"Shawn, I know I said I'd never do this..." She whispered, looking straight up at the stars so they reflected in her eyes.  She took a deep breath, "I love you, Shawn" She said and closed her eyes, snuggling into my chest. My heart seemed to stop and I smiled and kissed her head.
"I love you too, Y/N"

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