My Body, His Canvas

B O O K T W O

I think, generally, things are meant to get bad at least once, before they continue being good. There's always a certain balance. So if once things were extremely good, pray that the extremely bad won't hit you all at once and that it will be divided into smaller pieces. It's almost two weeks later now and tonight the stars were beautiful. They sparked in the pitch black sky. I was consumed by anxiety and adrenaline. Was I about to do this? Or was I about to bail? He was tired though. I didn't get enough sleep the night before either. I texted him to ask if he really still wanted to go through with this since he was so weary. But he didn't mind his state, because he wanted to proceed with the plan.

M I S C H I E F

Sneaking out

I was dreaming of a second time all day long. And as soon as he brought it up in the afternoon, I planned it out through text till midnight. I knew, I just knew that my parents would go to bed a little early today. And I knew my dad wouldn't be on "patrol" tonight. Because usually he stays up till morning to do his work. But he's getting older by the day so he'd have to rest after a while. And one of those "whiles" was today. I just knew it.

The time ran and it was night. My parents were in their room and asleep, just as I had predicted. The alarm was on and I just got out of the shower. I texted him to know of his whereabouts. "I'm at a party". He texted. "Tell me when you're ready to sneak out so I can come pick you up". And I smiled widely towards the screen of my phone. I didn't do too much about my appearance because if I were to get caught sneaking out, I could lie to my father that I was only about to take a walk and his anger would have been half as bad as when I'd be all dressed up like I was going to a party. I threw my hair up in a high bun and wore baggy sweatpants with a big t-shirt. The night was still young and I was already on my second take on mischief. I took my keys off of the keychain so it wouldn't make too much noise. I shoved the things I'd need in my pocket like my phone, some candy and the keys. When I had everything I walked over to the control panel and wrapped the towel around it again like the first time. I carefully punched in the code and it was a success! No one was woken up by the sound and I was one step closer to sneaking out of the house. I pulled the curtain a little to the side so that when I'd come back that I could see from the outside whether the alarm was still disarmed or not. Then I made my way to the back door and left as slowly and as quiet as I could. I texted him as soon as I was outside and he called a cab before he came straight to pick me up. I sat outside waiting for about 20 minutes and the mosquitoes were a pain in the ass. I got stung badly and I kept thinking that the night better be worth it. Finally they arrived and the taxi stopped right on the corner, where my parents could see if they were to look out of their windows. I freaked and texted him to let the driver drive more to the side of the house before I jumped shakily over the fence. I got in the car and we drove off. I remember how I prayed that my parents didn't see me leave. The thought didn't occupy my mind for long because he greeted me and I suddenly grew curious to know what the party was like. And he spoke to me about it, not very detailed though but his description was good enough for me. He then told me about a friend of his, I don't remember what the issue was anymore, but he sure thought it was funny. Because he chuckled at his little story about his friend. In a way it felt weird that we talked like that, because I thought the drive to his house would be quiet since the driver kind of knew that he and I were about to have sex. There hadn't one thing to be said I just got the vibe that the driver somehow knew that that was going on. I sat uncomfortably in the backseat and he in the front. But I guess I hadn't much to worry about, since I sat in the back; he wouldn't look at me all that much to take in the mess that I was. My feet were plastered with mud and I had no choice but to wipe it on the mat. The late night breeze felt really nice against my face and I showed admiration for the streetlights that shone so brightly onto the almost empty streets and pavements. I enjoyed this kind of mischief and I would do it all over again. Just for the fun of it.

He didn't live that far away from me so the drive to his house wasn't as long. When we got there we had to jump over the fence. He thought he'd help me out, but I managed on my own and he was slightly impressed, or so it seemed. The yard was dark as hell and I was terrified of the probability that a frog could jump on me anytime. "If a frog jumps on me, I will kill you". I threatened. And I was dead serious. "There are no frogs here". He chuckled. And I found myself calming down a little at the assurance he gave me. We walked from the front further down beside the house before we got to the back. As we reached the backdoor he let me wait outside some more. The mosquitos there were bigger and meaner and they stung at my fully covered body. I winced at the stings, but I couldn't do much. I had to stay put and quiet or we'd get caught. But in the meantime I took in the beauty of the little amount of backyard that was still visible to the eye in the dark. It was beautiful. There were plants and there was grass. It gave off a very "home" vibe. The house itself too. And I caught myself thinking of my grandmother's house because being there at his house reminded me of the sort of feeling I felt whenever I paid gran-gran a visit. I smacked across my arms and legs to shake off the mosquitos, but it was no use. For a short second I felt kind of sad and alone in the middle of the night and up to no good. But then I was brought back to reality by the shutting down of the kitchen lights. Everything went pitch black and my eyes slowly adjusted to it. I peeked through the door that he left ajar to see what was going on, but I saw no one and no movement. All I heard were his footsteps against the wooden floor. I felt cold and anxious. What were my parents going to do if they found out that I wasn't home? I felt uneasy about the entire plan at this moment. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I just stood still, still waiting on him to come and get me. What took him so long?

Not long after, I saw a beam of light shaking wildly throughout the kitchen and I immediately knew it was him with a flashlight. His tall figure showed up behind the door and I hurried my way into the kitchen as soon as he gestured for me to come in. I was so happy to get away from the mosquitos. I looked up to him and saw he held his finger to his mouth as a way to show that I had to keep quiet and so I did. I walked slowly behind him and he turned to me to see what was taking me so long. He dramatically waved his hand, gesturing for me to walk a bit faster and I tip toed closer to him. We came into a small hall with two doors on each side if I'm not mistaken. I wasn't very focused on my surroundings so I can only vaguely remember some details. Somewhere at the end of the hall was the door to his room. He entered before me and I followed behind him. "It's a bit of a mess". He pointed out, even though it didn't look half as bad. I smiled at him; "It's alright". He looked at me for a short while before he mentioned that I had to take off my necklace, for it could make noise and it could break. So I placed it on his bedside table next to my phone, candy and money. After that I went and sat down on his bed. "Now, it's time for me to shave. Be right back." He said and I waited patiently. I took off my shirt and my pants and folded them unevenly before I placed them on the bedside table as well. I laid down quietly hugging his pillow as I admired the street lights that shone through his sheer blue curtains.

Unfortunate nightstand

I was about to have sex again after almost only two weeks since my first time and none of it felt right. Deep down I just had a bad feeling about this one, but I shook the feeling off and made myself at home there. I closed my eyes as I waited and I thought of how I would get back inside if one of my parents were to turn the alarm back on while I was gone. Suddenly I got cold again and I squeezed harder into the pillow. "I'm back". He said as he stood in the door opening. I pushed my torso up off the bed to look up at him and I smiled at him. In a way I started feeling insecure and unsure about myself. It took him a short while before he came to lie down with me. He kissed me softly and it still didn't take away the worry, the unsureness, the insecurity and the anxiety. I kissed him back, gradually though, and it felt okay. But my head wasn't there with him.