In my opinion... everyone lies. It’s a fact of nature; just like a mother loves her child or a mate is protective. It’s all embedded in our DNA. I even lie, though I shouldn't. I lie with every sentence I say but we can never lie to ourselves, our minds know every trick and they try to make us realize the harsh truths. Sometimes we keep denying it, whatever it is that you're denying, but our minds always know. They know the truth; they sense it in the voices of others.
I lie and so do you. Don’t deny it because we both know you'd be lying. Trust is based on truth but despite what anyone thinks, it's also based on what two people tell each other and what they don't tell each other. I watch people every day and I see as cheaters cheat and gamblers bluff. I watch as friends backstab and I watch as couples break up. They all meet me at one point and when they do, I judge them. I decide what they do after that. If you haven't gotten it yet,
I am Death.
***
I watched from the corner as the man crossed the street with his eyes glued to his cellphone. It was raining and I could make out faint lights that brightened as the car came closer. The rest you can guess. I approached the wreckage, no one could see me unless I wanted them to and as of yet I haven't. I kneeled down next to the body of the dying man and waited until his soul detached itself. I held out my hand for him and smiled as I felt a warm hand envelope it. I pulled the man up, he looked the same as he did before he was hit but now he looked fuzzier, like you would expect a ghost to. I smiled warmly and led him away from the wreckage. The man in the passenger seat was going to be O.K.; he wasn't on my list until 5 years from now. I can't tell you anything exact but I can tell you he will live happily.
I pulled the man further into an alley way that would serve perfectly for my purpose. I tapped my watch as I waited for the gate to open. Finally, after a few seconds, I watched as to spirit looked up and smiled. His eyes filled with tears at only what he could see. I smiled at the sight and nudged him forward. He turned to me and mouthed 'thank you' before disappearing.
Spirits can't speak, despite the Ojai boarding and all those other things those school kids do. It doesn't actually affect the spirits, but most spirits like to play games and scare the crud out of the kids. Spirits have a nasty sense of humor.
I turned around and walked away from the alley as two ambulances came rushing by, their sirens wailing. I walked in the opposite direction with my hands stuffed in my dark green jacket. I pulled the loose strand of my hair out of my face. I hated when my hair got down, it always got in my face. I pushed my glasses up on my face as I walked through the rain. I could choose whether I could look human or not and I could also choose whether I got wet, so didn’t bother with a hood or umbrella, yet the water droplets slid off of my , leaving no trace behind. I walked around for hours, long after the rain had stopped. I usually don’t take one person to judgment at a time, it’s usually a group because of so many people dying, but I had made an exception in that man’s case. He had interested me. He was a good person and always tried his best to be good and I had watched over him and his family for years before he died. I think he had recognized me from when I entered his dreams. Sometimes that happens. I like to watch over a family sometimes and when I do, I usually personally take that person to judgment alone. Judgment sounds like a bad thing to most people but to the people who are good at heart, it’s the most wonderful thing for them. Being death has its downfalls. Such as: I can never fall in love. I can’t save people from death. I can never let myself be seen guiding a soul. If I ever do one of these things, it could disrupt the balance. At first it may seem cruel, but I chose this. I was once a soul and there had been no death at the time to guide us, so many souls wandered. That was during the medieval times, of knights and princesses. I had been one of the few to find my way and I pleaded with the higher ups to let me be the guidance many of those poor souls needed. They had agreed. For many weeks, I worked nonstop. Many souls had gone insane from wandering for so long and those souls were helped. There were children and women who were still searching for one another. It broke my heart to watch them. But the worst was when I met a soul who would not be allowed into Paradise. I guess you could call it hell but either way, it was a place of endless suffering and greed.
I visit there often, to drag the unwilling souls. Some of them plead, some of them cry, some of them try to bribe me, but the worst are the ones who give up. They know they did wrong and just follow as I lead the way. I usually see them in Paradise after a while, even in hell you can be forgiven but there are very few case who have and the higher ups always know if they try to deceive them and they will wish they were back in hell if the higher ups do catch them lying.
My name is Mortem. It’s Latin for death and it was the name given to me by the higher ups. My human name was Anna, full name Annalisa Bele. I was a farmer’s daughter. We were working class but we weren’t peasants. My father was a good man and my mother had died of the plague when it struck. My father and I had not gotten infected but my mother had been a healer and as she taught me everything I need to know about medicines at the time, she had caught the illness. I had killed her in a matter of days. It started with fever and chills. She has headaches and she could barely move from her aching muscles. I took care of her and her other patients but there wasn’t much I could do. Many people had seizures and a few absent seizures. None survived. When the plague had passed, father and I took leave of the small town we lived in and moved to a more isolated place. The plague had not stuck there and we did not want to see such misery again. My father and I lived happily for many years before another tragedy struck us again. My father remarried. This isn’t one of those Cinderella, evil stepmother stories. Actually, my step mother was a sweet woman who had had no children but loved me like I was one of her own. She had married my father when they fell in love, after they first met in the market. She was not much younger than my father, which at the time was very rare in woman. My stepmother’s name was Heather. She and I were very close.
She and I liked to go down by the river that ran near our home. My father was a black smith so he worked throughout the day and neither Heather nor I had much to do. Our quaint home was always clean and dinner was not to be made until the evening. It was near dawn when my father left. Heather and I left to the river and decided to take a boat out. We had been planning this trip for the past two days and we were going to go the meadow after. As we took turns rowing to the center of the river, the flow softly pushed us to the lake. We had laughed and swam in our clothes. The sun was beginning to dip and we knew we were going to have to head home. We treaded in our wet dresses that seemed to weigh a ton. Our hair was let loose and our feet were missing shoes. As we continued to chat and laugh, we came across a road. We walked along it until we ran into a group of travelers, they asked us for directions and we directed them to a nearby inn that was owned by a dear friend of ours. The men were friendly but one of them scared me. He was a handsome man but something in his eyes told me he was far from kind. I was 16 at the time. The age for marriage but my father was one of the few who believed I should marry for love, not money.
A few days later, my father received word that a young man was asking for my hand in marriage. I declined but the next day, my father was arrested. My step mother was taken as well. The guards were cruel men who raped her and killed her the day she arrived. I wept for many nights, thinking of sweet Heather who had done no wrong. I then accepted Sir William’s proposal and married him a moth later. My father was killed anyway. I fell into a state of depression, I did not eat, I did not sleep and I did not allow Sir William anywhere near me. One day, my husband barged into my private quarters, drunk, and tried to force himself on me. I fought back. He back handed me and I hit my temple on the corner of a table, killing me instantly. While I was a spirit, I watched as William tried to hide my body, throwing it into the same lake I had been with Heather to. I haunted him for weeks, making him suffer until he went insane. I soon left after that. I had pleaded with the higher ups right when I first entered Paradise and they immediately made me Death. I had first searched for my mother, my father and Heather. I sent them to Paradise first and gave each of them a final hug goodbye. I would not be seeing them again. I then worked on all the other souls. It was tiring, but most souls went to Paradise.
Many years past until I witnessed the death of Sir William and I witnessed the death of Sir William. I watched as he coughed and sputtered, nothing could or even would save him. I waited until his heart stopped before approaching him. He recognized me immediately and tried to run but he couldn’t. I learned that I wasn’t the first woman he had done this to.
He was not going to paradise.
