The Heartless

Gone for Good

It took me two days to get out of the stinky hospital. Matt stayed there constantly and I wondered if he ever slept. Once I was home, I allowed myself to wash away the sadness with a warm shower. Little did that help but I managed to sleep deep and sound throughout that night too.

For the next three days, I became a Pinterest whore. I was read quotes which could relate to my situation or I was trying to motivate myself with different other images. I changed the look of my room when mom was busy with my sister. I was guilty that I had just added up to her worries. I was moving my couch towards the other end of the room when mom popped in.

"You need something honey?" she asked as her eyes wandered around to my room.

"What.....? Are you...doing Katy???!"
She was left speechless. I had moved my floor bedding to the extreme left of the room, near the window. My table had gone to extreme right and I had started pasting post-it notes on it with various small quotes I found on Pinterest. I had finally taken out the basket she bought me three months back and had set it near my table.

I scratched my head and giggled a bit.
"Honey you are suppose to rest," she sounded worried. I felt guilty even more. I was doing all this to show her that I was completely fine.

"Mom this is a sign that I am recovering and you don't need to worry really," I faked a big smile.

She sighed and her eyes cringed from the edges. She looked tired, worn out and full of a storm of worries. A storm that I had added to.

"MOOOOM! I am totally okay. You should rest and I'll order pizza for dinner, if that is okay?"

"No actually you stunned me with this! I had to tell you that Harper is here. He says your phone is switched off, so he is here to check on you."

I stared at her blankly. She was well aware of the fact that Harper was my best friend. I wished in that moment that she knew that the guy was the reason for me being this torn apart.

"You okay?" mom shook me hard.

"Yeah.... can you.. just tell him that I am asleep? I am kindaaa tired..."

She looked straight at me with suspicion. "I already told him that you are awake..?"

Great, I thought. My mind snarled at me to refuse but I had to calm down my mothers suspicions too. I smiled at her and sat casually on the couch. If I had been the lovely, chirpy girlfriend of Harper, I would have loved him for paying me a visit. I would have thrown on a beautiful shirt or would have tied up my hair too. But I did nothing. I sank into the couch as the door opened and Harper stepped in.

I looked up at him and he gasped in surprise. I knew what I looked like and I was glad that he saw me that way. He saw what he made out of me. He kept staring unbelievably as he tried to find a trace of the Katy he loved. But she was gone...gone for good...