Here it is: ImpureDemons x Pringles Can, specifically requested by herself. You asked for this.
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Pringles. A savory snack for some, mere junk food for others. Delicious crisps that delight the taste buds. The mere taste of a Pringle brings happiness and joy. But for one person, there's another form of joy that can be derived from a Pringles can. One of a more...interesting nature. For all of her life, Impure loved Pringles. Actually, no; she worshipped Pringles. She looked at the mustached Pringles man as some sort of god, some sort of savior that would inevitably enlighten humanity during the rapture. And through this worship came love. A deep, passionate love that few could understand. But it didn't matter whether or not others understood. Such love can't be spoken in words, nor transcribed on paper. This love could only be shown.
There she stood; a can of sour cream & onion Pringles, newly bought from her local 7/11. The light from the window shined down upon the can, highlighting the can's attractive features. Impure stood in the doorway, staring down at the can with a look of pure, unadulterated love and adoration.
"You're even more beautiful in person." she said. The Pringles can did not respond.
"Such a way with words." she thought to herself. She slowly walked towards the can and picked it up off the ground.
"It's you and me now, my love." she said quietly. The Pringles can remained silent. Impure chuckled, before taking off the plastic lid. She smirked as she peeled off the foil, revealing the mouthwatering potato chips within. She removed one of the chips and slowly licked it, so as to tease the Pringles can. She smirked again before eating the chip whole, followed by a seductive wink. The Pringles can remained tight-lipped. Impure dumped the remaining chips onto her bed, and gently set the can aside. She crushed them into small crumbs, before taking them into her hands and showering the crumbs over herself. She moaned in pleasure as the crumbs showered over her; every time a crumb made contact with her skin, she felt her desires grow more and more out of control. She looked towards the Pringles can with a sly smirk.
"My love for you is irrepressible." she said, walking towards the can. "I hope you're ready. I don't play nice." The Pringles can stayed silent. She layed the can down on the bed, slowly caressing the sides.
"Relax, girl." she said. "Is this your first time?" the Pringles can had no words to say. Impure chuckled. "I'll make your first time memorable." Her caresses grew faster and harder, before she pulled her hands away. She formed a fist with her hand and held the can towards her.
"I'm going in dry." she said. "Tell me if it hurts, sweetheart." The Pringles can had nothing to say. Impure's fist began to force it's way into the can. She moaned at the way her fist slowly slided down the walls of the can. About halfway down, she pulled back. She smiled warmly at the can, and the can showed no emotion. Her fist went deep into the can, before pulling out again. She continued this for a minute, moaning louder and louder each time as her arm motions became faster and faster. Eventually, her fist reached the bottom of the can.
"It's like you always said." Impure whispered. "There are so many ways to love 'em. You don't just eat 'em." She forcifully pushed her fist down to the bottom of the can, letting out one last loud moan. Her fist pushed through the bottom, creating a hole on the other side. Impure laid down on the bed next to the can, sweaty and out of breath. She looked towards the can with a seductive smile. Her work wasn't done.
"Once you pop, the fun don't stop." she said slyly. The Pringles can remained quiet.
Impure situated the can on top of her dresser, the opening facing her. She reached under her bed and found a strap-on, with the word "Pringles, My Love" written in magic marker on the sides. She smiled as she applied the strap-on. The can remained emotionless. She took the dildo part of the strap-on and slowly inserted it into the Pringles can, whose hole was larger than before, as Impure's fisting had left her hole irreversibly widened. Before she could continue, her phone lit up. It was a notification from her Discord channel.
"That's fuckin' gay." a user by the name of deftonesfan777 said. She sighed and shut her phone off.
"Idiot." she said. "He doesn't understand our love." After inserting the strap-on, she pulled out, before inserting again.
"Your hole is bigger..." Impure said. The Pringles can didn't say anything. Impure didn't seem to mind the widening of circumference of the can's hole. She thrusted inwards and outwards, letting out moans of pleasure each time.
"Are you ready?" Impure said. The Pringles can had no response. Impure let out one last loud moan, before her strap-on released it's premade juices into the can. Impure laid the can down on the bed, and kissed it slowly.
"Goodnight, my love." Impure said quietly, but happily.
The Pringles can was silent.
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I can't believe I wrote this
