My Poetry, My Life

Missing

missing you was never part of the equation

but I can't admit to myself

that you are always a lingering thought in my mind

because in the very beginning

I poured my heart out

thinking that I wouldn't ever

have to deal with you walking out.

but that's what you did.

walked out of my life

like the door was wide open,

waiting for you.

you walked out like I meant nothing to you

and suddenly my heart was hurting.

you were gone

and the only thing I had left was memories

held in a 6 by 4 picture

that you hadn't torn up.

even to this day I don't say I miss you

because I'm not sure I do.

maybe I miss the idea of you.

the soft kisses that usually followed lots of laughs.

the long car rides filled with meaningful talks.

the tight hugs when you hadn't seen me in awhile.

the smell of you that used to comfort me.

the stupid things you did just to put a small smile on my face.

the tshirts you constantly left in my bedroom because you knew I loved sleeping in them.

the big smiles that appeared on your face every time you saw me.

I miss those things.

and maybe I miss you.

you ripped my heart apart

like it was a letter you messed up on.

in the beginning,

I never thought I would miss you.

but here I am

missing everything about you.

-BE