Is it Love? (Choi Young Do)

~Chapter 7~

I could not begin to grasp how I feel about you. There are a swirl of emotions that never seem to end. The emotions never leave me alone. I'm beginning to lose sleep at night, and the only time I can truly feel at peace is when you're by my side. When did this happen to me? When did I feel this deep attraction to you. Am I loosing who I was to who I am now? If so, then I don't care. I'd rather lose myself than not be with you now. Please understand my feelings. Please love me in return.

Part 7~
(YOUNG DO POV)

I parked my bike and put the lock on it. Not even 15 seconds later did Myung Soo find me. "Hyung, where were you last night? I thought we were supposed to hang out? I didn't rent movies for nothing. That's fine though, because Chan Young joined me instead." Myung Soo questioned me. I was having a hard time paying attention even now because of her. As soon as I rounded a corner, there she was being harassed by Rachael and her squad of plastic dolls. I wanted to help her but I didn't want to be bothered at the same time. Each day she was bullied I wanted to be there for her, but there was just the feeling of something stopping me. I knew if I let my guard down, I'd end up with another empty feeling...just like when Cha Eun Sang left me behind. "Yah, Young Do why are you..." Myung Soo started to question me but soon stopped to observe Lillian as well. He then looked at me and back to her. He kept shifting his vision between us until he gasped. When she headed away from the machine, Myung Soo started laughing. "You like her now?! I was sure that you had a big crush on Eun Sang still, but hey, it's been a year at least. Soooooo, is that why you didn't text me or come over last night? Is it because you were busy swooning over your second love?" He teased me. I looked at him and glared. He only laughed and shook his head. "Why do you always treat girls that you like so badly?" He asked me with all honesty. "Why did I trip her? I guess it was to see how she'd react. I was curious I guess. That's enough questions. I have to get to class." i stopped talking to him. Then I left him behind and headed to my class. By the time I had gotten inside, the teacher headed in right behind me. During the entire class, I kept my eyes glued on the back of Lillian's head. While the other kids laughed and made fun of her hair, I had only wanted to run my hands through it. I looked just as soft as it was fluffy. While the others had laughed at her dark skin, I found it exotic and appealing. There was something about her that captured and drew my attention from the very first moment I laid eyes upon her. A sudden buzzing in my pocket had drawn my attention away from her head. I looked down and felt excitement overtake me . She had actually texted me. She texted me instead of ignoring me. I smiled widely and was eager to read her text.

_From 일리안 -Please stop staring at the back of my head -_-)

Just from that simple text my world lit up. Despite the fact that it was a plea to me asking to leave her alone, it was a text from her nonetheless. I put my phone away and looked down at my book while smiling. Class had ended soon enough and I found myself walking behind Lillian far enough for her not to notice me. I followed her into the cafeteria and watched as she sat at the same table as usual. Of course things couldn't be left alone because Rachael was already heading to the table with her army close behind. I watched and listened closely to there conversation. Rachael asking Lillian about her social status, Lillian giving a snide reply. Rachael kept pressing and pressing until Lillian had enough of it. She picked her plate up, threw away the scraps, and headed out of the cafeteria. I should've helped her. I should've been there for her but I just can't bring myself to do so. Truly, I am...afraid of hurting again. I did so much to help Eun Sang in the past  but she just chose Kim Tan over me. I should forget about that since it was a year ago...yet I still hurt. When it gets bad enough, I go to see the only women in my life that hasn't hurt me...my mother. And that's just what I did as soon as school ended. I made it to her much faster than I thought I would. She seemed busy at first, but the moment I stepped through the door, she smiled and rushed over to me for a hug. "Oh, my sweet boy. Young Do, are you ok today? Have you eaten today? I haven't seen you since last week. I haven't even gotten any calls or messages from you. You just got me back last year, don't you think its a little soon to not call me?" Her loving words had turned into a form of scolding me. I smiled and bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry mom. It's just..." I sighed and took a seat. She smiled and sat down in front of me in a separate chair. "Ok, I know that expression. What's wrong this time?" She reached out to gently stroke my cheek. "Well...there's this foreign girl-" She cut me off with a firm pop on my chest. "Yah Young Do!!! What about the last girl that you liked? Are you trying to get hurt again?" Mother questioned me intensely. I shook my head and looked up to meet her concerned eyes. "No, I'm not trying to get hurt again. I can't help how I feel about her. They say that people fall in love fast. I've fallen in love with her faster than I had for Eun Sang. Mom, she's so beautiful and I swear she's caring somewhere deep down inside. The only problem is that I'm not trying to get hurt again, but I'm afraid to do so. I want to beat the worry away mom. I want to be with her." After I said this, my mom pulled me into a tight hug.

"Sweetheart...sometimes we have to take risks with some things in order to get to where we want to be in life." She told me. I hugged her back and asked her "And where is it in life that we want to be?"

"That's a simple answer...Happy."