〉◦〉◦〉⌔ 想像します⌔ 想像する⌔〉◦〉◦〉

Like - 好き

Chapter 2 - Staring Contest:

好き-  Is it weird to want to stare at someone forever?

Is it wrong?

 I've asked one of my family members about this. I asked for their opinion on the matter. I asked, "Why is it weird to stare at someone's face?" They simply laughed and chanted that I had a crush, but, it's deeper than that. A crush is an attraction. It's... Not love, its uncertainty. It's the nervous sweats when they walk by you, your heart picking up and your cheeks tint pink as you shyly look away.

I think that wanting to stare at someone forever is deeper. It's... Fear, fear of ever forgetting their face. Fear of thinking that they'll forget you long before you forget them. When those people walk by... Your heart aches but it's steady. It's certain that you more than love this person. It's not just love, it's loyalty, it's a beautiful connection and by Jesus, it hurts when it's a one-way thing. You know you're just second but at the same time... You're okay with that, you're okay with just being a part of their life. You're okay but you're not. You want to cry and scream, punch a wall in and when they ask about those bruises on your knuckles say "It's nothing, I'm fine." 

You gush about this person cause they are your number one but you're just... A plan B. At the same time you're still glad but every time you hear them laugh because of another person you begin to slowly realize that they don't laugh as much when they're with you, you think, am I less? Am I not worth it? 

Am I anything to them? 
And on the days they say they love you. You smile and all your doubts disappear. 
You want to laugh and grin. Hug and cry. 

Then, just as they had come, they fade. They leave you clinging to that one I love you, that one sentence, a statement that is overused and now barely has any meaning.  A sentence that slips by their lips carelessly, tossing it around with no second thought while those few words mean so much more to you.

And they might not mean to tear you apart. They may not mean to toss your emotions around your mind making your stomach churn but they do. 

Oh, God, They do... 

But maybe I'm just crazy, maybe it is a crush. Maybe I'm damaged and delusional. Maybe an obsessive Pycho and just maybe... 

They care too.

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389 Words

Disclaimer: I know this is a weird chapter. I am just really emotional right now. I've just downed two cups of bitter coffee and watched a really sad movie so please don't think I'm a crazy psycho and if you do...

Cool? I guess? I don't know... Whatever. Creative minds aren't all that sane anyway.

Whats the fun in that?