hurting

chapter one

diary entry 1
i wish i could be happy.
i wish i could feel loved.
i wish they knew.
i want to tell them.
i'm ashamed of myself.
if they knew maybe they could help.
they all just want to help
but my mother telling me to just get over it doesn't help, my older sister telling me to just eat isn't going to help, my younger siblings making jokes about it doesn't help.
yesterday at school i ran into the bathroom after lunch and tried to make myself throw up, nothing tried until i went into my bag and took out a pen and shoved in into the back of my mouth.
i really wish i could tell them.
the only people that 'know' is my family and they're no help.
my friends are all i have.