hurting

chapter six

diary entry five
i'm starting to like carrying this diary around with me places because i can actually say what i'm feeling the moment i feel it.

i'm walking to geometry and my hands are all clammy and sweaty, yikes.

i'm sitting in class and for some reason casey just came in, she's sitting next to me...
but she's not talking.
she slipped me a note that read : abi. you look sick are you okay? if you don't want to talk about it now you don't have to but can you come over to my place after school to talk about it? oh btw i'm in this class now!

i'm glad i get to see her again outside of school cause for some reason lately we haven't really been talking unlike me and sydney, me and sydney text everyday like 24/7

caleb just got into class.
he smiled at me before he sat down.
he was wearing a black polo shirt and black jeans ripped at the knee, oh god he has A LIP RING oh my GOD. okay i probably have to do class work now,

i finished class work early so i can keep writing.
i have headphones plugged in now and i'm blasting demolition lovers, hopefully nobody hears because the only people who like my chemical romance is sydney, casey, and i.

my life is over!!! caleb turned around and looked at me with wide eyes and a second after that happened casey said my music was really loud.

casey asked me if i wanted to eat lunch with her but i can't, im way too big, i'm so heavy, nobody can ever love a girl like me. and anyways why would they? i'm freaking gross.

Jessica just shoved me into a locker, i don't know how much more cliche she can get
i hate that i hate myself because of what her and her friends say about me but at the same time i can't blame her for saying those things, the things they say are true.

the last bell for school just rang,
i'm walking to casey's class so i can ride home with her.

there's caleb,
i swear looking up from this book to see where i'm going is gonna be the death of me.

i passed him now but he stopped me and said
"hey, it's me, caleb? from the record store? you look nice today abigail"

ohmygod he said i looked good
that's the first time in forever
he's so sweet.

alright well i'm in the car with casey now so i'm gonna stop writing.
adios.