hurting

chapter seven

diary entry 6
it's about midnight on sunday.
it's starting to snow outside.
a mix of emotions just ran through my body
i want to hurt myself yet i'm too scared of the aftermath of it.
i want to cry, over nothing like actually nothing
my mind keeps wandering

what am i doing to my body?
every time i make myself throw up, what does that do?
i'm damaging my body but i can't do anything about it.
i'm stuck.
i hate myself.
i wish i was never born.
i can guarantee everyone i've ever met feels the same way.
its now 6:30am

abigail's pov

i just looked out the window
the sun rose over the snow covered ground
i'm sitting at my window
i look at the apartment across from mine
it's caleb
he's taking a picture of the snow on the flowerbed that's on his windowsill

we both live on the second story of our apartment buildings
the apartment buildings are not that far from each other so if he looks up he could possibly see me

i don't think he can see me.
i hope not.

i placed my hand against the window to see how cold it was so i can choose what to wear

he looked up and saw me
his eyes widened, he quickly closed the curtains.