Mendacity

I Finally Examined Your Actions Toward Me

I raised myself from the bed, brushing my hair lightly as I was recalling the night from before. My head was aching terribly and my whole body was soaring, any moments from yesterday did not click in my head at all.

The only thing that snapped me was the last person I was with, which was her. I got up from my bed and headed toward her room, I just wanted to check on her for some reason.

After I waited outside for some time, she finally opened the door and my eyes widened instantly at the sight of her figure. The tee she was wearing barely covered her upper body and she only had her underwear on.

"Morning," She greeted, leaning against the door.

"Morning," I began.

"You should wear something under there," I added and pointed out her underwear.

"Shut up, don't try to act like you haven't done anything worse yesterday," She stated with chuckles in between.

I paused after the moment she mentioned that, what did she mean?

"Wha-"

"Jaewon, you were so drunk yesterday," She interrupted, it seemed that the topic was sensitive to bring out at that point.

"I need to get going, bye Jaewon," She planted an insincere smile and shut the door before I could even say a word.

→

I stirred the coffee and whip cream repeatedly. I rested my chin on my palm and I was still bugged with the fact that she had not reveal what had happened yesterday. I was extremely anxious whether I did something wrong to her.

Speaking of the devil, she entered the cafe and made her order at the counter while I observed her from afar for the whole time.

As she was searching for available seats, it was odd that she purposely did not take the seat at my table. She knew I was one of the customers and she knew my face told her to be with me.

Instead, she sat at the opposite of mine. The way she looked on that day made me wanted to compliment her wholeheartedly. She was beautiful just to say it shortly.

I started to squeeze on my cup when her hair fell naturally on her shoulders, my inner butterflies were unstable by the appearance of hers. She then got a hold of her hair and moved them to one side, leaving her collarbone to be obvious.

Her eyes trailed its way to me and she smirked at the sight of how I was suffering internally. Again, she showed her most well-known killer smile.

A male grasped my attention as he sat at her table. By that time, I was seriously hurt. It felt like my heart was in the hands of hers and she crushed them without sympathy. It was painful to watch her being flirty with the male, I assumed that it was her ex-boyfriend or her boyfriend, did they get back together?

I clenched my fist as the scene was unbearable to be in my eyes. I then slung my bag over my shoulder and just left the cafe, it was the only solution to prevent myself from getting hurt further.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

I was played and I felt completely betrayed. All this time, she must had used me for her pleasure, not even bothering about my feelings.

Before I even realized, I bawled my eyes out in the middle of walkways. I was unconscious with my surroundings, but I was positive that people were judging me from all directions.

→

I was tired with everything when I dragged myself along the hallway of my apartment, I stood in front of my door and banged it for multiple times. I hated myself for liking such woman.

I did blame myself as it was my fault for being too attached with her. My body slid against the wall and dropped on the ground, I just broke down silently in my room.

I truly liked her, more than anyone. It sounded unreal as we hardly knew each other. However, she caused me to lead my feelings further. She was special.

→

"Please, call me Jaewon, I hope to hear from you soon."

I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth times upon listening to her voice. Weeks had flew and I rarely bumped into her already, maybe I did consider it as a luck. I was about to depart from my room when I saw her standing outside of my room.

"What the fuck?" I cursed, slightly jumping backward in surprise.

"Jaewon, hear me out," She begged and reached out for my wrist.

"Seriously?" I glared at her in disbelief, pushing her grip away harshly.

"We were not together to start with and you made it seemed easy to just fuck around with my feelings, what a very pleasant move," I laughed sarcastically.

"Please, my last request would be for us to not talk anymore, thank you," I emphasized every single words and slammed the door to her face.

I admitted that I was a douche, but I was just standing up for myself. Once I was heartbroken, I thought it was best to avoid myself from getting involved with her again.

I screamed out in frustration, mad with myself. I was confused, did I totally move on yet?